Monday, October 09, 2006

Coda

May 2005 feels like a very long time ago.

That was the month I started Real '80s Diary as a reaction to an increasing feeling of depression I'd been experiencing for a couple years. (Read my first entry to this blog for further explanation.)

Bottom came on May 1 of that year, when my then-latest minor relationship came to an abrupt end, leaving me, again, wondering about the way I'd been living my life, and what my future might hold.

Things are a lot different for me now.

The second week of May 2005 marked the beginning of my efforts to turn things around with my first visit to a mental health counselor. Anti-depressant medication came soon after (it continues as of this writing), as my weekly counseling visits turned into semi-monthly meetings. In the fall of 2005, I felt the benefits of meeting with my counselor had dwindled, and I decided to stop regular appointments, knowing she'd be there if I felt a need to return.

So far, I haven't felt the need.

Later that fall, I met Naomi (not her real name), a wonderful woman who I continue to see now. I'm nearly 40 years old now. She's the first woman I've considered the possibility of living with and entering into a life-long relationship.

Real '80s Diary has served two purposes for me: On a purely practical level, it allowed me to put into digital form an important collection of my writings that previously existed only as hardcopy. It also gave me a introspective and thought-provoking activity to occupy my time as I was going through one of the tougher spots in my life.

I don't mean to imply there's been any "happy ending" here. I'm mature enough to know that life's circumstances can turn on a dime — usually when you least expect it. I know my life will continue to have its ups and downs. But, in a way, this project represents for me one of the early steps I took in changing my life for the better. And for that reason — not to mention the fact that, on its surface, this diary represents a year and a half of my life as a teenager, a time in most people's lives that always seems significant — I'll continue to have sentimental feelings for it.

1 Comments:

At 10:49 AM, Anonymous Angela said...

Hello! I came across your blog and really appreciated that you had put it online, it was a real blast from the past. I was born in 80 myself, but it was a great time to grow up. I know you last wrote in this blog in 2006, and I don't even know if you check this anymore, but one
thing I thought of while looking around your diary from the 80s is what happened to "Marie"?

At the beginning of some of your posts, you'll mention what ended up happening to someone mentioned in that diary entry, but from what I've seen of your blog so far, no mention was ever made of what ended up happening to the girl you called Marie. If you don't mind sharing. :)

Thanks!

 

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