Monday, October 09, 2006

Coda

May 2005 feels like a very long time ago.

That was the month I started Real '80s Diary as a reaction to an increasing feeling of depression I'd been experiencing for a couple years. (Read my first entry to this blog for further explanation.)

Bottom came on May 1 of that year, when my then-latest minor relationship came to an abrupt end, leaving me, again, wondering about the way I'd been living my life, and what my future might hold.

Things are a lot different for me now.

The second week of May 2005 marked the beginning of my efforts to turn things around with my first visit to a mental health counselor. Anti-depressant medication came soon after (it continues as of this writing), as my weekly counseling visits turned into semi-monthly meetings. In the fall of 2005, I felt the benefits of meeting with my counselor had dwindled, and I decided to stop regular appointments, knowing she'd be there if I felt a need to return.

So far, I haven't felt the need.

Later that fall, I met Naomi (not her real name), a wonderful woman who I continue to see now. I'm nearly 40 years old now. She's the first woman I've considered the possibility of living with and entering into a life-long relationship.

Real '80s Diary has served two purposes for me: On a purely practical level, it allowed me to put into digital form an important collection of my writings that previously existed only as hardcopy. It also gave me a introspective and thought-provoking activity to occupy my time as I was going through one of the tougher spots in my life.

I don't mean to imply there's been any "happy ending" here. I'm mature enough to know that life's circumstances can turn on a dime — usually when you least expect it. I know my life will continue to have its ups and downs. But, in a way, this project represents for me one of the early steps I took in changing my life for the better. And for that reason — not to mention the fact that, on its surface, this diary represents a year and a half of my life as a teenager, a time in most people's lives that always seems significant — I'll continue to have sentimental feelings for it.