Tuesday, June 20, 2006

The home stretch

I've rarely been able to identify how good things have truly been during my life, until the moment has passed.

The summer of 1985 — the summer I spent mostly with my first girlfriend, Marie, between my senior year of high school and freshman year of college — was one of those rare times when I did know.

I still remember the notion coming to me one afternoon while I stood near the doorway to Marie's camp on Lake Gaines.

I remember the layout of the room only vaguely now, like you might remember a foggy dream. I recall where I was standing, but not who was with me, what I had been doing immediately before, or where I was headed next and what I'd do there.

But it dawned on me at that moment, naturally, it seemed: This is a really good time. Maybe the best time I've ever had. And it might be some time before things get this good again.

More than 20 years later, I can say that I was right. On all counts.

With the posting of this, the 25th entry to my actual 1985 diary, there are now only three entries left, before my urge to document my life in writing petered out several weeks into my arrival at college in September '85.

This is the home stretch.

Monday, July 22, 1985
5:53-6:38 Pm

But first, an appendix update: A-61 rejection slip from a theater, for "Skies Above"; A-62 card from a contest I entered it in; A-63, a letter from Aaron; A-64 a letter from Joy.

Well, it's been over a week now, and instead of trying to put it off any longer, and possibly forgetting it, I thought I'd write now.

The most recent and relevant thing I can remember is going over to Gaines early Tuesday morning, since I had it off. I got up around 6:00 Am and got ready and then left; no foolin' around. I got there about 8:00 Am. I stayed the night, and had to leave the next day around 5:00 Pm, since I had to work that day at 7:00 Pm. That night was a Moonlight Madnesss sale at P&C, and it was HELL!! The place was packed and just so incredibly busy, I couldn't believe it. About a million big-wig managers from other P&C stores were there, and I hated it. But I lived until midnight, when the sale ended and I left.

We did the usual stuff at camp. This time when it came time to go to bed, around 11:30 Pm or so, Marie crawled into my bed for a while before she left to go up to her bed. Well, we've done what we've been doing for a long time now, but for some reason or another, this time seemed even closer. I mean, we never have gone all of the way, but we've gotten pretty close. This time seemed even closer, because we had about 1 1/2 pairs of underwear separating us.

When it was over I told Marie that I didn't think we could go on just inching closer and closer to what we both wanted to do, and that I thought it would be safer just to go ahead and do it, taking the necessary precautions, than it would be doing what we're doing now. Then I asked for her comments on the matter, and she said that she'd give them to me before I left the next day.

So when it came time for me to leave I asked her what she thought, and she said that she would like to, but couldn't. She said that she couldn't because she didn't think it was fair to me, because that she didn't want me to feel hitched it her for the rest of my life, and that she knew that I would be meeting a lot of other girls at Middletown.

I can't really describe how I felt. I guess I felt a bit rejected, a little relieved, and a little disappointed. I could understand if she just didn't want to do it, but I wish she would have just told me the truth why; it seems like the reason she gave me is phony.

Although I'm a little ashamed to admit it, I guess one of the things that made me finally confront Marie with the sitaution was Aaron, of all people. I mean, I've been thinking about getting the necessary apparatus (I love using official jargon to side-step difficult words!) to make going all the way possible, but I've always put it off.

I guess two weekends ago I got together this Aaron, Paul and Benji and we all went to see a movie: "Mad Max: Beyond the Thunderdome." Aaron took a girl from school and Benji took Liza Polanski. Afterwards we went to ABEP, for once in a long, long time. I had forgotten how fun it was just to go out with the guys and Bozo around. I had a ball.

Well, anyways, to get to the point. After a while, only Paul, Aaron and me were left at ABEP. Somehow we got into a conversation about live at Camp Daley, Aaron is being a counselor at the camp for the summer. He casually mentioned that he "didn't know about that yet," when the subject of some girl came up. Eventually I figured out the story. It seems that after hours one night at camp, Aaron and some others got a bit hammered. Aaron went off into the woods with a girl, and when they left the woods, neither of them were virgins. Get the picture? The way him and Paul talked about it so casually I thought for sure they were putting me on. I mean, Aaron's only been dating girls this school year, and to think that that would have happened seemed very unbelievable.

Eventually they convinced me that they weren't putting me on, and I guess that now I believe it. I also found out that Paul had done it, too, but for some reason, after hearing about Aaron, that didn't shock me so much. But to think that Aaron went ahead and did it without taking any precautions, I couldn't believe it.

Well, after that I kind of drove home in a daze. But I think that learning about that, kind of boosted my courage. It kind of made me think, "Gee, if Aaron can do it out of the heat of passion, while he's bombed, to a girl he hardly knew, while not taking any precautions, and risking a pregnancy, what would be wrong with two people who are in love doing it while taking all of the precautions and totally sober?" I'm almost ashamed to admit it, but that's the kind of view I sort of took.

Well, enough of that for now. I'm glad that tonight I have the time to write a little bit about my feelings, instead of just catching you up on what has happened.

This Friday I went down to pick up a roll of film, and Benji went along with me. Then we went to P&C to get a look at my schedule, and then we went to Sky Gate and played some video games. I broke my high score in Galaga by an amazing amount: it is now 238,290. I got to two new challenging stages that I had never seen before. Benji was there, and by chance Aaron walked in. A Bozo reunion!! We all went over to Zayres and Bozoed around, and then we drove over to the cremmee stand in Maynard, all of us in Aaron's car playing the tape deck real loud and screaming out of the windows. It was a lot of fun. Like I mentioned earlier, I had forgotten how much fun Bozoing is.

Anyway, Aaron told us about rookie night at Camp Daley. All of the new counselors have to put on a cabaret-night sort of act. So Aaron is going to have me and Benji drive over and we're going to do our Dirt Bag routine. Dirt Bag got a gig!! It's going to be a blast!! We're going to do the same thing that we did for the Jefferson talent show auditions, but we're going to add a bit more talk in the beginning. I'm really looking forward to it. That's Thursday night.

Saturday I worked until 3:00 Pm, and then drove over to Marie's camp. We did the usual hack, and it was fun. Did some more tubing, which was a blast.

I left Sunday night around 9:00 Pm, because I had to work early the next day. This whole week I'm working in the frozen food section. Compared to bagging, it's really nice. I have to get all of the frozen food out of the back room and into the aisle, and spread it around to the spot where the individual boxes go. Then I count them to make sure I've got it all, and check it with the invoice. Then I stock the shelfs and price all of the items I put up. Then I clean up all of the boxes, and usually work on the ice cream until it's time for me to leave. It's a little more responsibility than bagging, but it's so nice to be out of the hustle and bustle of the front end.

Some time last week Danny Silver showed me how to do it. I really hate him. He was a senior at school when I was a freshman, and I liked him okay back then. Now he's been at P&C for five years now, and he's managament. He's a real dick when it comes to working with him.

But today I did the frozen food by myself, and the rest of the week that's the way it is. The only thing I don't like is the early morning. I love to leave the store around 11:00 Am or noon and know that I've got the rest of the day to myself. But when I start work at about 7:00 Am, that means I have to get up at 5:30 Am. Once this week I work at 6:00 Am, which means I have to get up at 4:30 Am. What a drag!

Well, Dirt Bag on Thursday night; I can't wait! I think Friday after work I'm driving out to Gravely again. I get out on Friday at noon, and I have Saturday off, and I'm hoping I'll have Sunday off too, but I won't know until I see next week's schedule. If I do, I'll stay out for that time, which would be real nice. If not, I'll at least have nearly all of Friday and all of Saturday, which is as good as I got this week.

Well, guess that's about it. Will, right (duh, write, that is) next time it comes convenient. Tonight I was hoping on flying, but it's windier than all hell. Guess it'll have to wait until some other time. Later.

Sunday, June 11, 2006

Hey, Abigail: I saved your lips!

I saved the card (right) the cast gave me in the summer of 1985 for helping direct that year's Summer Drama Workshop at Jefferson High School.

More interesting than the card, was the envelope, which, for reasons I didn't understand then nor now, was sealed with a kiss by cast member Abigail Abbey.

Abigail was a year behind me in school, and was kind of a hotty. Much to the surprise of me and my friends — and to Aaron — she asked Aaron out to the prom that year. They went as a couple along with me and Marie, Benji, Pringles, Larry and the rest.

Thursday, July 11, 1985
11:30 Am-12:21 Pm

Well, I guess when it starts to come around to being a whole month since I've last written, I guess it's time to write. It's just that I've had so much to do, that I've kind of forgotten about this diary.

Well, it's been so long, that I can't really remember anything that's too far back. Sometime a couple of weeks ago I got a call from Bill, who said that they had settled his case out of court. He's got two to 10 years back at St. Evans Correctional Center, where he was when he first went in. He seemed to think that he'd get the mimimum of the sentence, and might still go to college after he got out, but I doubt it. After just one month in there, he was going crazy; after two years min, he's going to be really gone. A couple of days ago I got a collect call from Bill, while I wasn't home, so I guess everything got settled, and he's in for his sentence.

I guess I can make a general note about the time that I can't remember any specific from. During that time I've been working somewhere from 15-22 hours a week, which translates into about four or five hours a day, with about two or three days off a week. When I haven't been working I've been probably with Marie.

I did finally get my R/C plane in order and got to go down to the field once and flew about three flights. No problem at all; it's like riding a bike, once you learn you never forget.

The latest, or I should say, farthest thing back that I can remember is the 4th of July. Me and Marie drove up to Collinsville to go to the alpine slide there. It was really expensive, and I only had $12, but Marie's mom gave her $40, so we were safe. We took three rides down that, and then drove further up the mountain, and took a look at the caves they have up there. Then we drove to where we could take a gondola ride up to the top of Mt. Tucson, and we did. Once we got up there we had lunch, spent some time up there and then came back down.

Then we drove home, and when we got home we lounged around a bit, until her father came home with her brother. We had eaten, but they hadn't. Mrs. R suggested some ribs from Barber's Chicken Shack, but Mr. R didn't seem to want to drive down. So then Marie suggesed that he let me and Marie take the Vette and drive down for him and brong back the ribs. Mrs. R was positive, so he gave the keys to Marie and we got ready and then left. I was quite nervous but after we got down there I was a bit better, and on the way back I felt a lot better. It was really fun, and probably the funnest part was turning people's heads when two young people like us stepped out of the car. Mrs. R said that when it gets buffed (it's just been painted) we can take it downn to Randall to visit Caroline Kramer and Aaron at Camp Daley, where they're both working. I'm really looking forwad to that.

After we did the rib run we stayed there a bit longer then left for the Elks Club to watch the fireworks. After that I brought her home, and stayed there a little longer, until about 1:40 Am, I think.

On Friday the 5th we drove up to Lake Gravely in her father's truck to bring up her sailboat. They were moving out there on Saturday, but had to get the boat out there earlier. So we drove out, and checked-out their new camp, and sailed a bit, too, if I remember correctly. We headed back around 9:00 Pm. The camp is really nice. When we got to her house I stayed there for a while and then left.

On Sunday I thought I had to work from 7:00 Am to noon, so I got up at 5:30 Am so I could get in to work on time, only to find out that the schedule meant 7:00 Pm to midnight. I was really pissed-off. I came back home and washed and waxed the car thoroughly. I spent the rest of the day mowing Gram's lawn, and packing for Marie's camp. Then I went to bed in the afternoon for about three hours. Finally it was time to go into work, which I did.

That day I also called Sam Beavins, which he had told me to do. He wants to have me and Marie over to his new house for supper sometime this summer. He told me to call back when I know next week's schedule of work, so we can set a date.

Anyway, the next day I got up around 8:30 Am and got ready to leave for Marie's camp. I had Monday and Tuesday off, and worked 5-9 Pm on Wednesday. So I was going to stay over from Monday 'til Wednesday.

I got all ready and left, and went to the bank to make a deposit. Then I picked up some soda to bring and then I went to Sky Gate and broke my high score on Galaga: new high score ... 182,050.

Then I left for the camp. I had driven out only a few days before, so I knew how to get there. I got there around 11:00 Am or so. I can't remember the exact order of events, but I think the first day we went out in their new boat for a while. Actually it isn't theirs yet. They're borrowing it to try it out and might buy it. It's really nice.

Anyway, that evening I think we watched a video on the Randall's VCR along with a few other kids from ajoining camps. I slept in a room downstairs, which isn't quite finished, but is very livable, and has a nice bed.

It's funny I can't quite remember the order, but sometime during my stay we went over to the falls, which is off from the lake, and has a neat little place to swim in. Mike brought us over and then left after a while and left us the boat. So only me and Maria where there. We swam and then got out and sat there a while before we left. I think that was Monday night.

On Tuesday afternoon, I think, me and Marie went out in her sailboat and brought our lunch. We stayed out about and hour and 30 minutes, because once we got down to the other end of the lake, the wind died. We had a good time though. A couple of times while I was there Marie went waterskiing and I either stayed on the dock and watched or went in the boat. They all tried to get me to go, but couldn't. I probably will, sometime.

On Wednesday we did some waterskiing, or they did that is, and I watched. Then Greg Petri, a past next door neighbor of the R's, when they used to rent a different camp, pulled me and Marie on a couple of inner tubes, behind the boat. It's called "tubing," and it's the funnest time I've had in along time. We borrowed a couple of inner tubes with a special canvas fitting over then, so that we could sit right in the middle and not fall through. There was a handle to hold onto also. After that I had to leave around 2:50 Pm, asnd get back home so that I get to work.

I absolutely forgot to mention the Summer Drama Workshop! I wrote an taped the PSA the week before. It's a little 30 seconder, and is kind of cute, but not my best. I've got a copy of it. During the workshop I picked Marie up every day and brought her home, when I didn't have to leave early for work, which was only once. I typed up the program, and also got it printed up, which I was sort of proud of, because it turned out really nice. I was supposed to direct Mindy Santerre's monologe and a scene from "The Importance of Being Earnest." I some how got out of doing Marcy's monologe. She isn't very good, and is kind of a flake, so that didn't disappoint me at all. The other scene went really well though. And, of course, I put on my own play with Marie. That week was really busy. But I survived and everything went really well. The scene I directed went really well, and so did my play. I also worked the curtain for the show. I was pretty nervous about putting on my play, worrying about how people would take it. We decided to change the order, so that mine was last. It went well, and we got good reception from a fairly small audience. It made me fell real good when I got people saying how good they thought the writing was and how well the whole thing came off. Taking with other people, I've heard that the talk in the audience was that of disbelief, that that was written by a high school student.

Also during that week Josh Gillman showed up, unexpected, one morning at 6:00 Am. He had been on vacation and was driving around, and had been driving all night. He stopped here to see us and rest. Of course I was gone all day, but I saw him in the morning and evening. The evening of the day after he came with me and Marie went to see "Barefoot in the Park" by the Bridgton Players, with some other kids from the workshop. That is, we saw it with some kids from the workshop.

Anyway, I'm getting sick of writing, obviously. Got to work tonight, but if I have a few days off next week, I'm going to go back and stay at Marie's camp some more. This afternoon I have to do some errends first. Think I'll call Benji to see if he wants to go on the errands with me. I haven't sen him for a while. Until next time ...

PS: Appendix update: A-56 a poem I wrote about last fall or so. I never really worked on it after the first draft, and just let it sit. Finally I decided I type it up and save it just as it was, instead of work on in now that the feeling has changed. A-57 program to "Barefoot in the Park," A-58 A-59 cards Marie made me on her computer; A-60 a card the guys at the workshop gave me for being a director. They also gave me a bubble pipe and soap, as kind of a joke director's gift.