Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Nabbed by the makeout police

Lyle Anderson (not his real name) was my high school principal throughout my Jefferson High days. His tenure coincided perfectly with a major soft drink ad campaign that was based on a mythical fruit — a fruit that had the same exact name as Mr. Anderson's real first name.

I still consider the day Mr. Anderson warned me about staying after school to makeout as one of my most embarrassing moments — though the laugh I had with Marie afterwards was probably worth the humiliation.

Mr. Anderson left Jefferson shortly after I graduated, and went on to become the superintendent of the school district that includes my state's largest city. He held that job for many years, and recently announced his retirement just a number of weeks ago.

Whenever I saw him on the TV news or mentioned in a newspaper article, I remembered his sage advice.



Sunday, Dec. 23, 1984
Vacation's arrived. It really snuck up on me this time, like I said before. It's just that I've had so many other things to think about, vacation was put at the bottom of the list.

I still haven't heard from Middletown yet, so this past week I gave them a call. I called from the school's guidance office, and talked with a person who was filling-in while the regulars were out to lunch. So she took my name and number, and had them give me a call back. They called while I was still at school, and Anne was home to answer. She took the message that I'd get my letter next week. Still no explanation why I haven't heard.

Tuesday Anne came home for vacation. She brought her new boyfriend, Aaron, who stayed three nights. He's into Devo and other strange groups, so I'm hip to him.

Wednesday we were supposed to have an afterschool rehearsal for the brass players that were going to do a little thing for the concert alone. As it turned out the late buses were cancelled, but Mr. B wanted to rehearse with those could get rides home. I went down to his office to call home, since Mom didn't have to work that day. She said she wouldn't come up after me if the roads were bad. By that time the buses were just about to leave, so Marie offered me a ride home from her mother, since she (Marie) was staying after, too. I accepted, and after rehearsal she drove me home.

Thursday we had our in-school concerts and our evening concert. All of them went well.

This past week I got my 8th grade class casted. I think I did a pretty good job, accept for one person who I gave a fairly large part to, who really has a hard time reading. At auditions he was pretty good, but now he isn't. He is in special ed, for his reading difficulties. Other than that things are going pretty good. I do have a couple kids who were really upset about not getting the parts they wanted, and are not acting at all to their extent, to try to get me to recast. I've refused, and the teacher (Tom) agrees. Luckily, Tom is easy to get along with, and has given me as much power over this thing as I want. We've been blocking the rest of the week, and I'm going to block it out in my book over vacation, what I haven't done.

Friday we had no Senior Band the last period of the day. Paul, Aaron and myself got back about 10 minutes late from our Dew run, into that period. (Nearly every day 8th period, Aaron drives me and him down to ABEP to get a Dew or just play some video games. We're not supposed to leave school, but we do it every day, and get a real kick out of it, too.) Anyway, we got back late, and expected to be able to make a funny scene of it, only to find out band was cancelled anyway. We ran into Marie, and somehow me and her separated from the crowd. We walked around together, and went up to talk to Sam. Fifeteen minutes before the end of school everybody was to meet at their home room's for a party, if they desired to have one. Marie stayed with me at my home room, since we weren't really having a party anyway. She stayed for a while, then left to go to her home room. When it was time to go, I went down to my locker, and met her there. She asked, no begged, me to stay after with her. I decided I would. We walked up to English, and talked some more with Sam, and then wandered into the 7th grade English area, which was deserted. We made-out up there for a while, and then went to see if we could get into the aud, but couldn't, then went to social studies, and then back to the English area. We stayed there for quite a while, fooling around. Then we tried the aud again, and just as we we going in, a janitor saw us, and Marie lied, telling him we were looking for her books. She said we'd be right out, so he left us. We went up to the hallway going to English, and made out there. (Isn't this how nomads do it?) Anyway, somebody came into the aud, but they couldn't see us, but we heard them and decided to leave, and go up to English. We went through the doors leading to the English stairwell, and saw Mr. Anderson (principal/personal friend of Marie's folks), and the janitor that saw us go into the aud. From their conversation, it sounded like there were looking for someone. We tried to go up to English, probably to avoid them, but it was chained, so we had to walk past them. Marie asked the janitor if she could get upstairs, he said for her to get somebody else, since it wasn't his area. We walked by, and Mr. Anderson, under his breath sort of, called my name. At first I didn't think he wanted me, so I hesitated, and then continued. Then he called me again, so I stopped. Marie kept on going, and Mr A waited until the janitor went up the stairs. Then he told me to come there, and told me, I can't remember his exact words, that I'd better be careful about staying after school and making-out, and what have you. I was absolutely stunned that he knew what we were up to, and that he addressed it so bluntly. I just kind of smiled, and gave him the "O.K." sign with my hand, and walked away without saying anything. I think that might have been one of the most, if not the, embarrassing moments in my life. I told Marie, when I caught up to her at the locker, and we both got a royal kick out of it.

Saturday afternoon, I went to her house to snowmobile and then to have supper, and then we watched a video: "The Man With Two Brains." When I first got there, nobody was home except a furnace fixer. We were going to run down to Happy's to pick-up the video tape, but had to wait for the furnace guy to finish. We tried to make some cookies but didn't have that much luck and stopped. We went into the living room and made-out there for a while. Finally the guy finished and left. Soon after her Mom came home, and brother Mike. Then we left to Happy's. We picked-up the tape, and got Marie a new white shirt. She had lost her original one to the costume room at school, and her Mom said that if she didn't find it, she couldn't see me anymore, or this is at least what Marie told me. So I loaned her my white shirt to show to her mother, since she didn't know that it got lost. Then we got a new one at Happy's, and Marie's going to pass that one off as the old one, and gave me mine back. Quite the scheme, eh? It seems to have worked.

We came back to her house, and fooled around in her room for a while, and then came out and talked with Marie's piano teacher, and friend of the family. After a while we went back to her room, and after the friend left, we came back out and fixed ourselves a sandwich. And I mean a SANDWICH. We took an entire loaf of delicious Italian bread, split it in half, and made a giant grinder out of it. Then we split it in thirds, and Mike, Marie and myself each had a piece.

Soonafter, her parents left to go out to eat and to go to a party. We stayed upstairs watching T.V. with Mike, and then went downstairs to watch our video, which Mike wasn't allowed to watch by his Mom. We watched it for a while and then started to make-out. We started and stopped through out the movie. When it was done, we just watched T.V. and fooled around. I'd have to say that it got pretty serious this time, more so than last time.

Whenever we make-out, I've noticed that Marie presses her crotch against mine. When we first started to do what we do, it was a subtle movement, but something I noticed. Well, last night subtlety was tossed out the door. About three times, she really started to push against me. When I was on top, she'd push her hands under my pants onto my ass, and move them up and won, so I'd move up and down on her. Another time she was on top, and it really got serious. I had my hands under her shirt on her back, and she was really rubbing up against me hard. She really started to spaz out. I took ahold of her ass with my hand, and started to squeeze it and move it up and down on me. This made her spaz more. She really started to go fast and hard, until I came all over myself, although I don't think she knew it. I think at the same time I did, she did too, although I think she had before, too. I really felt strange about it all. I mean, it was as if we had just had sex; although we technically didn't. But I know I had an orgasm, and I'm pretty, almost sure, that she did, too. After that we were exhausted, and just held each other. We watched some more T.V., and then started to do it again. This time the same thing happened, although I didn't come. I think she was near her peak, when he eyes snapped open, and she said that she thought her parents were home. Sure enough they were. We got up and tidied up, and then shortly after I left. At another time, when we were watching T.V. she put her hand down the front of my pants, just far enough to barely touch what I think she wanted. That made me sort of uncomfortable, but I didn't stop her just the same.

This morning she called to say that she we going to be gone for the day. Since we didn't get to go snow machining, I'm planning on going over tomorrow afternoon. She called again this afternoon, later in the afternoon, and I said that it looked like I'd be able to come over tomorrow. I've got to call her back around 8:00 Pm, when she'll be home again.

This afternoon we went over to Grammy's to bring her over her presents. Nana isn't staying over Christmas eve. Instead she's coming over in the afternoon, and then leaving at night. She's bringing some friend named Levon.

I've haven't been thinking about Christmas all that much. Like vacation, it's sort of been pushed to the back burner. I'm looking forward to it though. Even though the day after I have my teeth out.

Guess that's it for now. Enclosed are some things I've been saving for the past two weeks. A rough draft of a letter to the editor of the school paper, which got printed this past week. A note from Marie, referring to my loaning her the script to "Arsenic and Old Lace" to read, my 9th grade Fall Play, another letter from Marie, and a little note, and the program to Lincoln's one act festival, which I went to see with Marie.

Until next time ...

Sunday, November 27, 2005

A little scary, but a whole lot fun

marie on skis
Not to ruin the ending for you, but Marie and I only spent one winter "together," so I assume I took this photo of her during the winter of 1984/85 — during one of our skiing expenditions on Norton trails during which we actually skied ... unlike the aborted trip I mention in this, the 70th entry to my 1984 diary.



Sunday, Dec. 16, 1984
The world is great, and I love everybody.

Well, let's see what happened this past week. The 8th grade workshops went okay. The first day I didn't do anything but watch, basically. And the next day I planned on not going, since I didn't do all that much the day before. But then I found out Sam wasn't going to be there, so he needed someone to take his place. He asked me, and I had little to say but yes. I had to take charge of the mime workshop, and it went okay. I was sort of glad I did it, because it got me introduced to my class.

Thursday I had the class read through the play, to let them know what it's all about. Friday I started try-outs, and what a job that was. I have cast to 21 people, and I know only a few of their names. When I look at the sheets they fill-out, it's really hard. We're going to continue try-outs Monday and I should be able to cast it after that.

School went okay this past week. I had more work than usual, but not an immense amount. It's hard to believe, but this is the last week before Christmas vacation starts. I've been so busy thinking about other things, that it really sped-up on me. I got all of my Christmas shopping done this weekend, so I'm all set. I had to return the record that I got Marie, because I found out that she already has it. I got her another one instead, one which I know that of last week she didn't have and wanted.

It seems that for a long time now Mom's been after me to have my wisdom teeth removed. I haven't helped her at all, but finally she just put her foot down and put me down in the office's books for the 26th of December. I've been fearing it for years, I mean really fearing it. But I figure if Mom's insistent on it, it's no use fighting it any longer, and I might as well just get it over with. I just wish it wasn't the day after Christmas. I'm going to do my best not to think about it at all, so it won't ruin Christmas, nor my vacation.

Still no word from the publishers that Sam sent my play to. He said if we don't hear something soon, that he's going to write them a letter. I also haven't heard from Middletown yet. I was supposed to know by the 15th of December if I'm accepted. I'm getting worried. Maybe Monday I'll know.

Sometime early last week Marie and I planned to go X-country skiing at my house after school Friday. All the week it had been warm, and the snow was melting rapidly. I wasn't all that up on the skiing anyway, but it provided an excuse to get Marie here with me alone. I sort of think that that was her intention, too. Anyway, I drove to school that day and we went over to her house after school and got her skies, and then came here. We drove up to the Norton's drive to check the conditions, and there were a lot of bare spots. So we turned back around and went inside and watched MTV instead. Or at least for part of the time. Part of the time we spent making-out on the couch. She had to get back at school at about 5:15 for a game she had to cheerlead at. Anyway, Mom came home at about 5:00 Pm, so we stopped, naturally, and then I brought Marie to her house to drop-off her skies and then to the school. It was really awkward seeing Mom after that, because usually it takes me a minute to recover after fooling around with Marie. But with Mom at the door, it was time to act. It all went smooth, and I don't think Mom expected too much.

Saturday night we went to the movies and saw "Beverly Hills Cop," with Eddy Murphy. It was really good. I held Marie's hand at the theater, which helped, too. After the movie we went back to her house. Her parents were gone, but brother was still there. The night before she had said that she was going to teach me how to dance, although I was reluctant. We played around with her synthesizer in her bedroom for a while, and then went downstairs and watched T.V., waiting for her brother to go to bed. It was a long wait. I was setting next to Marie on the couch, and we were rubbing our feet against each other's, waiting for 10:00 Pm, when he had to go to bed. It was driving me wild. Finally the time came, and he went to bed.

Marie came back down, and we watched some more T.V. for a while and then we started to make-out. Eventually we ended-up on the couch with her on top. It really started to get serious. I was kissing her neck and moved down onto her shoulder, or close to it, and she was really enjoying it. She unbuttoned her shirt a few buttons to allow me to get down a little lower and I did. All the while she was spazing out. She was pushing her pelvic region against mine real hard, and her abdoman was jumping up and down. For a while we stopped making out, and just held each other, while pushing our bodies against each ohter. It was like we were making love through our clothes. It may sound foolish, but I think she might have had an orgasm, judging from the way she acted. The whole thing was a little scary, but a whole lot fun.

At about 1:20 Am I decided I had to leave. She had told her mother that she was going to teach me how to dance, so before I left, we slow danced a little, and she got me to promise to slow dance with her at the next dance. I never dance at dances, but for Marie I'm going to make an exception, if not a few.

Today Mom, Marie and I went to Dawson. I mentioned it to Marie the night before, and she said she'd like to go, so this morning I asked Mom and she said it was okay. We went around to the stores, and I held her hand occationally, and it was nice. On the way home, Marie put her hand on my leg, kind of close to my crotch. I really enjoyed it, but was a little afraid of what Mom would think if she looked back and saw us. I don't think she was really paying attention. It was really painful, because I could tell what Marie wanted to do, and I wanted to too, but there was no way to. I couldn't even give her a good-bye kiss. But I enjoyed the day anyway.

I really want to ask her to go with me, because it really seems that she's my girlfriend anyway. But I'm afraid to, because I'm worried that she'll say no and get angry for me asking.

Well, I'm going to go and work on casting my 8th grade play. Hopefully by tomorrow I'll be a little more prepared and organized to get some more done. Luckily I didn't have all that much homework to do this weekend. Guess that's it for now. Until next time ...

Friday, November 25, 2005

Marie's basement

shirt tag
Some of my fondest memories of my high school junior and senior years took place in the furnished basement of Marie's house.

Her father's prompting her to come inside from my car, mentioned in this, the 69th entry to my 1984 diary, was very uncharacteristic. Through the time Marie and I spent together, her parents were amazingly permissive in giving us time alone together.

The basement was the family's living room, essentially, where the TV, VCR (somewhat a luxury in 1984), pool table, etc., resided. And it was there that Marie and I would take in dozens of movies — or, rather, the first portion of dozens of movies before we'd get distracted by each other and makeout until the early hours of the morning.

As a result, there are a whole string of films from the mid-'80s of which I've only seen the first 20 minutes.

Her parents were often out on the town during the Friday and Saturday nights we'd spend down in that basement. When they arrived home, perhaps between 11 and midnight, they'd rarely come downstairs to check in. Furthermore, Marie's brother, three years younger than her, had specific instructions to not disturb us while we were down there.

I can only believe that Marie and her mother's relationship was tight enough so that her mother trusted her judgement. That I was a clean-cut, outstanding student — I would end up graduating at the top of my class in 1985 — with no interest in drinking, drugging or other vices probably didn't hurt either.

As for the tag Marie tore from my shirt — that's the actual tag above — it was just another item I added to the strange collection of scraps I tucked away as part of my diary. That it wasn't lost in the shuffle of 20 years is amazing — particularly since it's less than an inch wide, yellowed now with age.



Sunday, Dec. 9, 1984
Well, let's see. Nothing much happened this past week, except for the weekend. School was canceled Thursday, due to a heavy snow storm. We've got about two and a half feet now, I'd say. The 8th grade workshop, for Thursday and Friday was put off until Monday and Tuesday.

Friday there was a dance, after a basketball game. I went to the dance, but it was boring. I assumed Marie would be there, after she did her cheerleading for the game. Just as I was getting there, she was leaving, and not staying for the game. I don't know why, didn't ask, and she didn't tell me.

Sometime at the beginning of this past week, I came-up with a plan for Saturday night. I knew my parents were going to go to the office Christmas party that night, so I asked Mom if I could have Marie over that night. She said she didn't care, and Marie's mom didn't care either, although at first Marie didn't tell her my parents weren't going to be home. It looked like it was all set, until when Dad heard about it, he didn't think it was a good idea, so it was called off. I was totally pissed, until I told Marie and she invited me over to her house for the night.

Saturday afternoon I went and picked Marie up, and then went to pick out a couple of movies on video tape. We got "My Favorite Year" and "Lonely Guy." Then I brought her back home, and then went home myself to eat and shower. I got back at her house at about 6:30 Pm. I gave her her birthday present, a big Teddy bear with a T-shirt that said "I love you" on it, and we fooled around with her synthesizer that she got for her birthday. Then we went downstairs and watched the movies.

Well, in answer to the question that I posed last entry: It wasn't just a flook. After we finished watching the first movie, "My Favorite Year," and after she had started the next one, we started to make-out. I really don't quite remember how it started this time. We were lying in front of the T.V. on big pillows, and somehow we got it together so that I had my arms around her, and we just started. And I thought last time was involved? I guess since we had done it before, we didn't feel as inhibited this time. Although I was keeping a keen ear out for the sound of the door opening, leading upstairs. Her parents were home. Nobody came down after we had started. We kept it up on and off, mainly on, until I decided to leave, earlier than last time, at about 12:55 Am. Once in a while, we'd stop and just squeeze each other, and a couple of times I made-out with her neck, which she seemed to like.

This afternoon we went downhill skiing together. I picked her up at about 1:00 Pm, and we brought the video tapes back to the store. Then we went to Blackhill, for the rest of the afternoon and skied. It was a lot of fun. When we got back we went to Timothy's and had a pizza, and then I brought her home. I wanted to kiss her good-night, and I could tell that she wanted me to, too, but for some reason I didn't. I helped her bring her stuff inside, then we went back out into the car to look for my retainers that I had miss placed. We sat in the car looking for a while, and then just started to flirt around. Then someone flickered the outside lights. Pretty soon her father called out from the door for her, so she had to go.

Well, now it's about 7:50 Pm, and I'm going to go. I don't have any homework left that I'd have to do before Monday, but I've got a few things I'd like to start on. I didn't get to practice either.

Enclosed are a few things. First of all, a letter from Julie. Secondly, a shirt tag, believe it or not, that Marie tore off my shirt when she was up here after the taping of our radio promo ages ago. Next a ticket stub to the plays Marie and myself went to see last weekend. Finally, a couple of notes from Marie. Until next time ...

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Close encounters of the first kiss kind

morning after
I was so high after what happened the early hours of Sunday, Dec. 2, 1984, that when I arrived home at 4 a.m. — or after I'd gotten some sleep, I forget which — I snapped a picture of my bedroom (right) just so I'd better remember that morning.

No, it's not just you. That was a strange thing for me to do. Even I feel that way, 20 years later.

You can see the clothes I had been wearing the night before spread out on the floor, the "Relative Values" poster on my closet door, and my Velcro wallet (very '80s) on my desk.



Sunday, Dec. 2, 1984
Stop the presses! If you're not already sitting down, do so, take a deep breath, and get ready for some news.

Before I start, I've got to say one thing: I can't believe it. I guess it's just too good to be true, and I'm still wondering if I didn't just dream the whole thing.

Well, I guess I'll start from the beginning, instead of just telling what's got me in a state. Sometime last week, I asked Marie if she'd like to go and see Lincoln's play(s) with me Saturday night. She said she would, so it was set. Well, last night (Saturday) came around. Last afternoon I had to have my hair cut, and I also did some Christmas shopping. Somehow I got the notion to stop in at a florist and pick up a rose for Marie, for last night. I did. In fact I got two for the price of one, for some strange reason. Anyway, I picked her up at 7:10 Pm, and gave her the roses, and then we went to Lincoln.

To make a long story short (terrible cliche), we met Marie's grandparents and a couple of aunts, and we sat with Julie, Kelly (Julie's younger sister), Benji and Jon Giffin. I couldn't believe Julie had the nerve to come over and sit down with us, but she did. We watched the plays, and had a pretty good time. After the plays, we went up on stage and saw some of the people we know, and then Marie and myself went to ABEP, and played a couple games of Xevious.

Well, I can't say for sure if Marie had what was going to happen that night already on her mind, but while we were there she mentioned that her parents were out for the evening. Later she mentioned that her brother wasn't home either.

On the way to her house she said that I could come in for a while, since nobody was home. So I did. She told me to go downstairs, while she went into the bathroom. A little later she came down, and we watched some T.V. while flirting around like we usually do.

I don't really know when, but in a little while the T.V. station went off the air, so we shut it off. Somehow she ended-up curled-up beside me on the couch with my arms around her and hers around me. We sat that way for quite a while, maybe an hour. Sometime before that, her parents came home. She went upstairs, to tell them I was there I supposed. Anyway, after the course of an hour or so, we had slipped down from a sitting position to a lying one. She had her head on my chest, and when she looked up at me, our faces were so close together that our noses touched. I could almost be certain that she wanted me to kiss her, when she kept on looking at me, and pressing her face against mine. We'd squeeze each other, and she'd rub her face against mine.

I don't really know who started it; I think she kind of started it which gave me the signal that it was okay. But she had her face real close to mine, and we stared at each other for a couple seconds, and then we kissed. And I mean we kissed. It was a little awkward at first. She opened her mouth, but kept her tongue to herself. If I remember correctly, the first one didn't last too long. We stopped and she put her head back on my chest. But then she looked up again, and we did it again, but this one lasted a long time. I can't be sure, but more or less we made-out for the next hour. After a little while it wasn't awkward, and we were really going at it. It was too fantastic to believe! Even while it was happening I couldn't believe it. I mean, it didn't feel like this was something she didn't want to do. I mean, it brought new meaning to the term "smash mouth." I just could not get over the fact that I was French kissing with Marie.

I'd say that this lasted from about 3:00 Am to about 3:50 Am. We stopped a couple of times, but mostly kept it up. When we'd stop, we'd stare into each other eyes, and give each other little kisses. I told her that I had to go, even though I would have liked to stay there for the rest of my life. She didn't want me to and held onto me tighter. Finally, after a couple of tries of my own willpower, I said I had to go, so we stopped, and sat up. We went up stairs at about 3:50 Am, and before I left the door, we kissed once more.

Like I said before, I just can't believe all that happened. Before, whenever we got too serious while flirting, we'd snap back, and start to just fool around again. But this time we didn't. From the moment that we got our arms around each other, there was no turning back. I've been trying to analize why it happened, and I can't really come up with a reason. I mean, after the play ("Relative Values") was over, and I told Marie I wanted to kiss her, she really seemed like she didn't want to. I had planned on asking her for a good-night kiss last night, and expected her to probably seem unenthused. Well, need I say more?

The only thing I can think of, is that we were both fairly tired. It seems that we get more relaxed, and do more of what we want to do, when we get tired.

I got home at about 4:00 Am; I kind of flew (both in the physical sense and the mental). I was real worried that Mom and Dad would say something, after all, they thought I had only gone to the play. As of yet, they haven't.

I thought I'd call Marie up this afternoon, and see if she got in trouble. I also want to see if she thinks we should let other people know what happened. I know Bill's going to ask how things went last night, and I'd like to tell him. But if Marie doesn't want others to know, I'll stick by her.

One thing that is sticking in my mind now, is whether or not it'll happen again. I mean, was this just some flook, or will it happen again? I hope it does.

Well, it's hard to think of anything else, but last night, but I'll try. Yesterday I did some Christmas shopping. It's all just about done now. I haven't got all that much homework for this weekend. I'm still going to practice, and I've got to write a sonnet (a special poem) by Tuesday.

Next week there's a theater workshop for the eighth graders. It's to get them familiar with theater terms and what have you. Then week after that we start the 8th grade one-act production. I'm a little nervous. I went down while the class was in session, just to talk to the teacher. Still, I was so nervous I started to shake.

We still haven't found a one-act for Proscenium. We've decided that Libby Snelling is going to direct with Alison Smithers as co-director. I've read about 20 plays, but none were too exciting. Last night, Lincoln put on three one-acts as a festival. Then they had the audience vote to pick a winner. The winner is going to go onto Proscenium and compete with us. I'm a little worried, because of the three plays, a couple were pretty good.

Well, I guess that's it. My head's still spinning, and I'm beginning to wonder if it'll ever stop. Until next time ...

See appendix

I saved a strange collection of scraps of paper and various other sundries as part of my 1984 diary. You don't know strange until you read a note you wrote to your first girlfriend 20-plus years earlier.

It's like you're reading the story of a stranger's life — a feeling you oughta be familiar with, if you've been following this blog.

Hopefully the utilitarian nature of this, the 67th entry to my 1984 diary, will be made up for with the next one I'll post ...


Sunday, Nov. 25, 1984
A special entry. I've been cleaning out my room, and I've got a bunch of stuff for the diary. First article, a speech for a phony (no pun intended) telephone answering machine. Sometime last summer, Aaron was going to call me early in the morning to let me know if we were going to go somewhere. It wasn't too certain, but the night before I wrote this to read to him when I answered the phone the next morning, if he called. He didn't.

Second item, a little thing I wrote after a school dance. I can't remember all that much, except I had hoped to get close to Marie that night, and instead watched her dance with other guys all night long.

Third item, the original sheet, onto which I copied the cast list to "Relative Values." I remember I drove to school in the evening, and brought a piece of paper to copy the list onto. I took a look at the list, and freaked-out at getting Crestwell, and Marie getting Moxie. I had told Marie that I'd call her, if I found she got a part. I had planned on waiting 'til I got home, but I decided to call her from school. I ran to the payphone just around the corner from the cast list posted on the inside of the aud door. Then I figured out that I couldn't remember the whole list, nor see it from the phone. I ran back to the list and scribbled the list down in record time. Then I ran back and called Marie. She screamed when she heard about her part. The rest is history.

Nextly, the schedule to the play.

Fifthly, a letter from Julie, which I received Oct. 23, and replied to only today.

Sixly, Sam's recommendation for Middletown College.

Next, a copy of the note which I taped to Marie's record, I got her for Christmas.

Lastly, the letter I'm going to mail to Julie tomorrow.

That's all; chow.

Insert coin

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Aunt Betty's Everything Pizza — more commonly referred to as "ABEP" in my 1984 diary — had three video games during the period of time in the mid-'80s when it was my hangout: Atari's Pole Position; some half-assed army game, the name of which escapes me; and Xevious.

By the summer of 1985, however, Galaga had evolved into my game. I'd stop by the arcade in the strip mall on the way home from my summer job bagging groceries to pump in a few quarters.

With the advent of emulators in the 1990s, you could play a byte-by-byte reproduction of just about any arcade game on your PC for free. In fact, you can even play some of them online without any kind of download whatsoever. This online emulation of Xevious is so real, it's frightening.

What's more frightening is that most emulation downloads are about 20kb. It makes me wonder what filled up all the space inside those huge arcade machines.


Saturday, Nov. 24, 1984
Let's see if I can remember anything from this past week. We only had three days of school, Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. Nothing too exciting happened at school, except one incident that I really wish didn't happen.

I think it was Tuesday that it all started. During inbetween classes, or something, Aaron, Benji, myself, and Marie were in the hallway talking. Marie wouldn't tell Aaron something he wanted to know, so as we were departing I said that she wouldn't tell him, because she was "being a bitch." I didn't think much of it, because Marie and myself are always picking on each other, calling each other names, but never really meaning it. Well, evidently she didn't take it as a joke this time. When I saw her at band she was giving the "pissed-off" routine, and I didn't think much of it. She always does these sort of acts to get attention. Well, either this time she was really mad, or just wanted to go to an extreme to get some attention. I talked with Aaron on the phone later that night, and he asked me if I knew why she was so mad. He told me that he had called her up and when she found-out that it was him, she hung-up. So later I called her, and she hung-up on me, too. Then I talked with Bill, and told him to call her and kind of find-out what was eating her. The only thing I could think about was what I said to her. He called back, and I was indeed right. So the next day I left a note in my locker, a copy of which follows this entry. Later that morning Benji delivered me a note from her, which follows this letter.

I was royally pissed-off. I saw her before Jazz Band, and told her that the reason I called Tuesday night was to apologize for what I said, and it was the truth (the fact that I called to apologize, not that she was a bitch). Then I told her to change the lock back, or I was cutting it off. Later that morning, after Jazz Band, I saw her and she handed me the next note, that follows this entry. I sent her back one, telling her that I wasn't blaming everything on her, and I admitted that what I said was wrong, but thought what she did with the locker was just as wrong. Then, among other thing, I agreed: We should stop fighting.

Wednesday night I called her, and it was a hard call to make. I didn't know how mad she still was, but I thought I had to find out. I called, and she wasn't mad at all really, but for the first few minutes conversation was hard, for the both of us. But then we talked for about an hour and a half and I felt a lot better.

When I knew she was mad at me I really felt like shit. I had a sick feeling down in my stomach. But now that I feel we're back to being friends I feel a whole lot better.

Thursday we went to Aunt Billie's for Tnanksgiving. Josh wasn't there. It was terribly boring.

Yesterday morning Nana left, she had stayed at our house for a couple of days. Mom and Anne went up to Dawson for the day. I almost went. I had thought about asking Marie to come with us, but then thought the ride up with Mom and Anne might be embarrassing, and the short notice for Marie might not do the trick, so I decided not to go at all.

I didn't have all that much homework this weekend. Hardly at all, in fact. I even finished my Physics term paper.

Last night I went with Benji to a parade in Bridgton. It was at night, and the Bridgton City Band was riding a flat-bed truck and playing Christmas songs in a Christmas parade. That didn't last long, but after that Aaron, Benji, Julie and myself went to ABEP. After some Xevious and a Dew, we stood around the parking lot trying to figure out where to go. We finally decided to go to the bowling ally to play arcade games; we didn't stay there two minutes and then left to Dunkin Donuts, so we could figure out where to go. From there we went to Zayre's (hell, they're open 24 hours, right?). After that, Benji and I drove Julie home, and Aaron went home. Last night, Julie took both Benji and Aaron aside from me, at different times, and told them something. I'm kind of curious about what she said.

I forgot to mention, sometime last weekend, Sunday perhaps, Julie called and asked me to go to some sort of ball with her, on Dec. 15th. She said I could give her my answer in a couple of days. I didn't really want to go, but was at ends trying to figure out how to tell her. Tuesday night she called from Lincoln, and I told her I thought it'd be ridiculous for me to go to something like this, when I can't dance, and won't dance. She said she was expecting that "excuse", and said that she wasn't going to make me dance. She kept on trying to make me change my mind, but I wouldn't. Then she asked if the real reason was because I didn't like her. I said no, but there was another reason. I told her that I didn't think me taking her to this dance would help my relationship with another certain person. She knew I was talking about Marie. She wasn't very happy about it either. It sounded as if she was about to cry. I told her that I wasn't going to mention the bit about Marie, except that she pressed me, and so I'd have to say that she asked for it.

A little later she called from her house, and we talked a little bit more.

Well, I think that's about it. Marie called me this morning to ask me what I want for Christmas, because she was going to Dawson today. It made me feel good, because the fact that she called me, and talked for about an hour, kind of shows me that I'm forgiven, and that our fight is in the past now. Like I said, I don't have any real homework left. So today I'm going to probably edit a film that we made at Aaron's last summer. I might go downtown and pick up my skis that are being adjusted. Marie said that we're going downhill skiing next weekend. (I better not argue, eh?) Maybe I'll ask Benji to come along, and then we can shop around a little together. Tonight Ted Rodriguez is having a video party. He's renting a few movies, and has invited the gang over. I think I'm going to go. I don't think my parents will mind. Well, I guess that's it for now. I might write again before the end of the weekend. If not, until next weekend ...

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Cousin Josh

josh
Josh, mentioned for the first time in this, the 65th entry to my 1984 diary, was one of my cousins on my father's side. About three years older than me, he lived in another New England state about four hours away.

I idolized him.

Maybe it was the way he seemed so bold and fearless — likely overcompensating for an inferiority complex, I now realize — or the way he so enthusiasticly took his shy cousin under his wing.

We went through a period in the early '80s of writing to each other, and making an effort to get together whenever the opportunity presented itself — not more than a few times a year.

Through my high school years, we lost touch. The last time I saw him was probably in 1986 or '87, when I went with my parents to his folks' house for Thanksgiving, I recall.

He's married now with a few kids, and living in the same state he grew up in.

Here's pictured here on my parents' sofa on Nov. 27, 1981.


Sunday, Nov. 18, 1984
Nothing too exciting this week. It was, of course, only a four-day week, since we had Monday off. The school week was pretty boring. Thursday and Friday Benji, Paul, Aaron and Bill were all gone all day to Waybury Valley Music Festival. I had nobody to spend my free time with, and I had an additional two free periods Thursday, because band was called off, due to the festival. I spent most of my time in the silent area of the library, reading.

Wednesday night I had gotten the courage up to tell Marie how much I like her. I wasn't going to tell her that I think I'm in love with her, just that I like her a lot. I told her that I had something to say, and that it wasn't going to be easy, so she was going to have to shut-up. Then she said, "No, No!" and hung-up on me. I was really destroyed. It was obvious that I was going to say something serious, and she obviously didn't want to hear it. Well, I sat on the bed for about 10 minutes, and then went into the living room and watched some MTV. About 15 minutes later she called, and seemed to sense, before I let her know, that I was angry. She apologized and said she was sorry over and over. I wasn't in the forgiving mood, and I could tell that she was trying hard to get back on my good side. I told her that what I was going to say was something I had been getting my courage up to say for about a week, and now that she had ruined the moment, I couldn't tell her, and I meant it. Anyway, I haven't got up the courage, or desire perhaps, to tell her since then.

Friday night I called her, but nobody was home. Saturday night I called and got her mother. She said that Marie was at the movies (I'm not sure if I want to know with who), and then she proceeded to jokingly chew me out for not going to see all my friends at Waybury Valley, which is where they went Friday night. Maybe I'll try tonight; can we go for three consecutive tries?

Saturday afternoon I went with mom and dad to Dawson. We went around to the Uptown Mall and Service Merchandise. Then we went to meet Anne and her new friend, a guy, at the university. Then we all went to the Mexican restaurant to have dinner. Then we came home. While we were at Service Merchandice, we picked up my Christmas present, a stereo system. I didn't really know what I wanted this year, but thought I'd like a stereo for my room, since I'm sick of having to listen to my albums only in the living room, and having to listen to my crappy clock-radio in my room. I'd looked through all the catalogs we have, but didn't reach any conclusions. The one in Service Merchandise looked and sounded good, and the price was right so without hours of ponderous thought we got it. It's a Panasonic, and looks pretty sharp. Now I've got to figure out where I'm going to put it in my small room.

While we were in Dawson I picked-up a Christmas present for Marie. I got her Duran Duran's latest album "Arena." I know that she likes the group, or at least the way they look ("They're babes!"), and I just hope that she doesn't already have it. I also got her a nice birthday card; her birthday is the 7th of December. I'm pretty sure that I'm going to order her a present out of the Montgomery Ward catalog, for her birthday. It's a two-foot teddy bear, with a shirt on that says, "I Love You Marie" on it. If she only knew.

This past week I got through writing my Physics paper. Now all I have to do is to type-up the final draft and pass it in.

This afternoon Julie called. We talked about nothin' much for a while, and then she said she had a question to ask me. As things go, and they always do, she asked me if I'd go with her to their Christmas Ball, on the 15th of December. I really didn't know what to say, and she said that I didn't have to answer, but I could call her in about three days. My initial impression was no, but now I don't know. I don't want to hurt her feelings by saying no, but I really don't think I want to go. First of all, I won't dance, no matter what the circumstances. Secondly, this is formal, and I'd have no idea what to wear or how to act. Thirdly, and most importantly, I don't really want to do something like this with Julie. Right now I'm infatuated with Marie, and can't really think of doing things with other girls. Especially not with Marie's cousin. Right now I don't know what I'll do.

This next week is only a three-day school week, since Thanksgiving is Thursday, and we have no school Friday. It looks, right now, that the family is gathering at Aunt Billie's, like usual. They're not sure of Josh is coming up or not. I haven't seen him for so long, I can't remember. I'm sort of nervous about seeing him. I'm afraid that we would have changed so much, that things wouldn't be the same. I'm afraid it'd be awkward. But if I know Josh, and I think I do, he wouldn't have changed one bit.

Well, I guess that's it for now. Enclosed are this past week's notes from Marie, and a poem I wrote, just for the hell of it. Until later ...

No more lonely nights

no more lonely nights
I don't think I wasn't entirely accurate when I wrote, "I cried a little" on the way home from Marie's house that night in November 1984. I seem to recall having trouble seeing the road through all the water running out of my eyes.

There are probably three late night/early morning drives home from Marie's house that were significant in my life — experiences that still pop into my head at the most unusual moments even 20 years later. The drive I mention in this, the 65th entry to my '84 diary, was the first.

One or both of two songs popular at the time played on the radio during that trip home. Or at least that's my memory. Either way, to this day I always think of that night when I hear either one of them: Paul McCartney's "No More Lonely Nights" and Julian Lennon's "Valotte." (Those two artists' single degree of separation from one another is a bonus coincidence.)

Looking back on it, it was laughable that I was scared to go ahead and kiss Marie. Read the entry below, and try and tell me it isn't obvious that she wanted me to.

Patience, grasshopper. Patience.



Monday, Nov. 12, 1984
Well, let's see; where was I? A couple of things happened this past week, although nothing too exciting.

I did ask Marie to go to the movies with me on Saturday night. She said she would, but as it turned-out, something else happened, but more on that later.

School's been going okay. It's strange to ride the early bus home, and have plenty of time to do homework. Usually after a play, I, like most, slip into a post-play depression. It's just that after being so close to the rest of the cast, and working every day after school and what-have-you, it's really sad to have it all end on you. Well, for some reason I haven't been effected too greatly by depression, although I am a little sad. What's really sad is that I've completed my last fall play at Jefferson. That really seems strange.

I guess nothing exciting has happened, until Friday night, although Friday night wasn't too exciting. I went over to Aaron's to show our movies to a few Lincoln kids. After that they all went to see a movie, but I didn't really want to, because I thought I was going to be going out with Marie the night after, and didn't want to spend the money. So the movie screening only lasted about 45 minutes, and then I came home.

Sometime late last week, I mentioned to Marie that I wanted to be able to see Monty Python's "The Meaning of Life" with her sometime. She took interest, and decided to rent the video of the movie, and invited me to come over and see it with her Saturday night, instead of going out to the movies. I accepted (I'm no fool). So Saturday afternoon we arranged it. I was going to pick her up at 5:00 Pm to go out for pizza, and then back to her house for "The Meaning of Life," and another Python film: "The Holy Grail." Later that afternoon she called to ask if I'd mind if she invited Aaron and Benji, too. She knew I was going to object, and since she woke me out of a nap, I was drowsy and let her know exactly how I felt. She didn't invite them.

Anyway, everything went as planned. Again, due to an insatiable desire to lock lips with Marie, I spent most of the evening trying to get up the courage to kiss her. Again, we had a couple of pillow fights, and again, they became more an act of affection than of violence. Near the end of our evening, about midnight or so, I'd say that we were getting about as affectionate as we had ever gotten. We were sitting close together on the couch, and occasionally holding hands. It's kind of funny how we go about it. It usually starts out with us picking on each other, and hitting each other with pillows and whathaveyou. Then it'll slip into something else, and it'll be like we're just showing affection for each other. Then we'll realize what we're doing, get afraid, and snap back into just fooling around. It's like a slow transition is happening between us. The more time I spent with her, the more time we spend being affectionate, and the less time just picking on each other.

Sometime along 10:00 Pm or so her mom left, so it was only Marie and myself downstairs, and her little brother, Mike, upstairs.

Like I said, I think we were probably being as affectionate to each other than we had ever been before. Finally, at about 1:45 Am or so I decided that I really had to leave. (It's sooooooo hard to leave on my own, when I don't have a curfew.) That's when it got more serious. I had felt for most of the evening that she was trying to give me every possible chance to kiss her. When I actually said I had to leave, and started to move, she got up with me and I could tell she didn't want me to leave. I can't remember how it exactly happened, but once or twice she put her arms around me, and like I described before, she pulled away. I wanted to kiss her sooooo bad, and even got the feeling that she wanted me to, but I still couldn't do it. Finally, I got out to the car, then I stopped at the car door. I came to the blunt realization that if I didn't ask her for a good-night kiss, that I'd feel like shit the next day. I considered going back to the door, and then the outside lights started blinking off and on, and I realized that she knew I hadn't left yet, and I felt like a fool standing there. So I left. On the way home, I cried a little.

Well, I was right when I though I'd feel like shit the next morning. I guess due to nerves, my stomach felt upset the rest of Saturday night (or I should say Sunday morning) and stayed upset until I woke-up this morning.

This morning we had to march in a parade. It was cold, and drizzling rain, but we did it nonetheless. Benji drove, and afterwards Bill, Benji and myself went to ABEP. Aaron couldn't go, because his parents didn't want him to. Later, when I got home, Aaron called to say Marie was having all of the gang over to see the two Python movies. Aaron couldn't go, but Bill, Benji and myself did. It wasn't half as much fun as being there alone, but it was still fun. Afterwards, Benji and I went to ABEP for supper.

Bill called this evening, while I was at the top of this page, to be exact. He had been talking to Marie about how some girl felt towards him, and he also talked to her about me. He said he couldn't tell me anything she said about me, because he had promised Marie. The only thing she'd let him tell me was that the only reason she's going to be in the one-act, is because she'll be in it with me. That made me feel real good, assuming it's the truth. What worries me is the fact that he won't tell me anything else. Sure, if he made a promise to Marie, I can understand. But still, why won't he even tell me if it's good news or bad news? It would lead me to assume that it's bad so that's why he won't tell me, so he won't hurt my feelings.

I've been considering telling Marie that I think I'm in love with her. But before, I thought I'd consult somebody else, so tonight I told Bill. He thought I shouldn't tell her, because it'd frighten her, so I think I'm going to follow his advice. Maybe I'll just tell her that I really like her. Maybe I just won't tell her anything.

Forgot to mention that Saturday morning I went with my mother to the Bridgton ski and skate sale, and got a pair of downhill skis and boots. Last year we wanted to go downhill, but found it cost too much. I also found out that Marie downhills, and she said that she wanted to go with me this winter so that also kind of motivated me (what else would, right?). Of course Aaron and Benji, and probably Bill, still don't have skis, but I must admit it was Marie that really prompted me to get them. Now I'm quite happy, and I'm looking forward to being able to go skiing this winter with her, and maybe the rest of the guys too, and not having to rent skies and pay a fortune.

Later Saturday morning we went down and test drove a Bronco II. My parents are thinking of trading-in the Rabbit and getting something 4-wheel drive, and they're interested in getting a Bronco II. I love getting new things, new BIG things, like cars. Dad let me take it for a spin, and it was fun to drive something new.

Well, it's practically 9:00 Pm now (8:58 Pm exactly), and I'd like to spend some time in the living room watching some TV or something, since my parents have gone to bed early. I also didn't sleep very well last night; I was awakened by my foul stomach, so maybe I'll get to bed a little earlier. Well, I guess the only thing left to say is: 'til next time ...

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Moxie for Moxie and the long walk home

moxie logo
This 64th entry to my actual 1984 diary contains a couple of very fond memories for me: the "Relative Values" cast party in Marie's basement, and, especially, the long walk home Marie and I shared after that rehearsal.

The longer we waited outside the locked school for her mother to pull into the parking lot to drive us home, the happier I got. And when we finally decided to hoof it to Marie's house rather than sit outside the school all night, I could barely stand the anticipation for fear of seeing her mother's Blazer round the corner, putting an end to our walk home.

Due to a miscommunication, she never came for us. Instead, as I explain below, we walked for 90 minutes the entire way along the dirt road to Marie's house.

There was a light mist in the air now and then, so I gave Marie my jacket to wear, insisting that I really wasn't cold.

Well, for the record, Marie: I was freezing. And I was also probably more happy than I've ever been.



Sunday, Nov. 4, 1984
This past week's been so full that I'm really going to have to struggle to remember all of what's happened. I guess I'll start from the beginning, and proceed chronologically.

Okay, let's see. Last Friday I got ready to go to rehearsal at 2:00 Pm, but the car wouldn't start. After running around the place trying to get it to start, I finally tried calling the school, but couldn't get through. So then for some reason I called Marie, hoping that she hadn't left yet, and she could tell the director that I was going to be late. Marie offered me a ride to rehearsal, and I accepted. Her mom and her came along to pick me up, and brought me to rehearsal. Afterwards, the car still didn't work, so Marie's mom was going to bring me home, too. We had to go outside, because they were locking up the school. We stood outside waiting for her mother, but she didn't come. At 5:10 Pm we decided to start to walk, as the school was locked ad we couldn't call her. It rained off and on on the way, and we ended-up walking all the way to her house, for an hour and a half. To tell you the truth, I didn't mind the walk at all. In fact I hoped that we wouldn't meet her mother on the way, so I'd have more time with Marie.

When we got to her house, nobody was home. She called her father at his tire store, and found out she (her mother) had gone to bring her little brother to the movies and then to have a drink with a friend. Luck was with me; I had some more time to spend alone with Marie.

At about 7:30 Pm, after being at the house about an hour, her mother came home. We got something to eat, and then Marie and myself went downstairs and played some video games. Then her father came home, and her mother and father went out to eat, leaving her and me alone again. After a while, her brother came home, and a little later, we had a couple more pillow fights. Then her parents came home around 10:00 Pm or so, and her mother drove me home at 11:00 Pm. I really couldn't believe that luck was so with me that day. What seemed to be a real downer, the car not starting, turned out to be a blessing in disguise. I had a real nice time with Marie. The pillow fights became more affectionate, as we'd stop and just kind of hold hands, or what have you, every so often.

Saturday Aaron, Benji and myself went around Bridgton distributing Reagan-Bush packets on door knobs for Benji's mother. She said that if Benji wanted to go to Julie's party that night, he'd have to do it. We actually sort of had a good time with it, and went to ABEP afterwards, and chowed-down.

I can't remember exactly when, but sometime along I decided that I didn't want to go to Julie's party. One major reason was because of what she told Marie. She told her that she could only invite two people, and she herself wasn't going to be there that night. Marie and myself figured out that she told her that to discourage Marie from coming to the party. That really kind of pissed me off, so I kind of boycotted the party. Saturday night I had a real long phone conversation with Marie. I hadn't taken the care to tell Julie I wasn't coming, so while I was talking with Marie, her two-line phone rang, and it was Julie. Marie told me that she was in tears, and wanted her to tell me to call Julie. I didn't. Later on that night, at about 10:30 Pm, Julie called me. She sounded pretty upset, and told me that she knew that I "hated her guts," and wanted to know why. She said she couldn't talk right then, and then left. She sounded not only hurt, but quite angry, too.

I guess the next thing was production week for the play. It went by without really burning me out, to tell the truth. Homework was pretty light for me, so the 'till 10:00 rehearsals weren't too bad. In fact I really enjoyed the costumes and make-up. The car stayed broken until Wednesday, which really pissed me off. One night Aaron brought me home, the next mom picked me up. What really worried me was that we never had a real dress rehearsal. On the night before the play, we did a rehearsal in which we stopped countless times to do lights and what have you. That really worried me.

Anyway, Thursday morning I came into school late. Marie had offered me a ride in the morning late, so I could sleep late. Wednesday night I gave her a ride home. I decided the extra sleep would be nice, and accepted. Her mom and her picked me up the next morning at about 9:25 Am. I had gotten a bottle of Moxie and wrapped it up for Marie that day; her character's nickname is (was) Moxie.

For the matinee on Thurday, the house was full, but the audience was fairly unreceptive. I can't recall any large foulups, but I'm sure there a were a few. Friday night it was about 1/2 full, but the most receptive out of all the three nights. Again, I don't remember any large foulups. Saturday didn't go as well. We had a real small audience, and they were luke warm as far as liveliness goes. I made one early entrence which I thought probably looked a little awkward, and the dialoge came to a halt because of forgotten lines in a couple of places; luckily I wasn't on stage. As it is with every closing night, the ad lib really flew. Aaron did a little bit of ad lib, which the director seemed to like. Then I did some that I prearranged with Bill. In one place I'm supposed to give him a "Horse's Neck," which is a drink with three asprins to cure a hang-over. Instead of three asprin, I said "Take the 15 asprin first sir, and then sip the drink slowly". Bill did a great pantomime, as if he has picking up a handful of asprin from my tray. We didn't warn the other person on stage about the gag and it was pretty funny. The audience simply roared over it. Later on another character did a broad ad lib, and by this time our "stick-to-the-book" director was getting pretty fed-up. She was up in the lighting booth, and said over the intercom to the stage manager, that if we didn't stop the ad lib, she was going to close the curtain and end the show. Later I saw her, and she seemed really amused with the ad lib, or at least with my ad lib.

The cast party was at Marie's house. I got out of costume and make-up, and then Marie, Nicole and myself left to set up for the party. We should have stayed and help break the set, but at least we had an excuse. The party was very mild, and I enjoyed myself a lot. There were only about 15 people there, and it was down in her furnished downstairs. We played video games, and shoot some pool, and ate and drank Mountain Dew a lot. Marie and myself also beat each other with pillows occasionally. Eventually everybody left at about 3:15 Am, and Marie and myself were left. (Sounds familiar; remember the summer drama workshop?) I have to admit that my thoughts weren't so saintly at that time and point. We were sitting on the couch, one at each end, with our legs stretching toward each other. After everyone left we began to become a little more affectionate. We were both tired, and sat there kind of rubbing each other's legs.

Somehow I felt that that night was going to be my last good chance to kiss Marie. I had told myself that somehow, by the end of the show I would have kissed her, either as a "good luck" kiss or what have you. I knew that if I let that night go by without letting her know how I felt, I'd want to kill myself the next morning. So when there was a puase in the conversation, I told her, "You know what I've been wanting to do for some time now?" When she asked what, I told her, "Kiss you." She kind of sighed and said, "What for?" Then she told me in a strangely open sort of way about a conversation she and her mother had. She said her mother was telling her about how her father kissed, and then she asked Marie how I kissed.

I don't know if Marie picked-up on the fact that I was asking her if I could kiss her, but I'd guess that she'd had to have. After I told her what I did, I was kind of embarrassed, but managed to keep a straight face. By then I wasn't feeling too good, because of all the Dew I drank, and all the stuff I ate. By about 4:15 Am I knew I had to leave, so I did. I went up stairs, and then remembered I left my shoes downstairs. I went back down, and sat back down on the couch, and then it took me about another 10 minutes to get the will to get up again. She sat down next to me, and was talking about something, I can't remember what. She had her forehead pressed up against mine. I was in such a state of drowziness that I didn't realize that maybe she was trying to give me my chance of kissing her. Anyway, I didn't, and I left and got to bed at about 4:50 Am.

I don't know what it is, but lately I've been obsessed with wanting to kiss Marie. I wish now that I had just done it last night when I had the perfect chance. I'm such a shlock I didn't.

This afternoon Marie gave me a call, and we talked for about an hour or so about nothing special. I'm quite sure that I'm going to ask her if she'd like to do something with me next weekend.

GOD DAMN IT, I THINK I'M IN LOVE! I just can't hold it in any longer. I don't know what I'm experiencing, but I've never experienced it before. I'm delirious over Marie. I can't stop thinking about her. I'm always thinking of the next time I'll see her, or talk to her. I just feel real lousy when I think that she doesn't like me the way I like her. I'm going insane.

Well, now that I've got that off my chest, I think I'll go. Sometime probably within the last week Marie has moved into my locker with me. Nothing terribly exciting for you, I'm sure, but something nonetheless. Next weekend is a long one, by an extra day. I think Monday I'm going to have to march in a parade. Well, I'm really sick of writing so I'm going to go now. If anything exciting happens I'll write, if not, until next weekend.

Norton trails and the master plan

marie on norton trails
Norton trails was a large patch of private, wooded property about a quarter-mile up the road from my home. The Nortons, the property owners, kept horses and had created a series of horse trails throughout their property.

During the summer the trails made an ideal spot for a warm-weather stroll. And during the winter months, the Nortons were happy to let folks cross-country ski on them — even going so far as to groom the trails for skiers and snowshoers.

I doubt I took this photo of Marie on the walk I mention in this, the 63rd entry to my 1984 diary. Her attire doesn't look appropriate for October. It was more likely taken on some other walk we shared on Norton trails, perhaps during the summer of '85.

Still it seemed appropriate for this entry.

Nortain trails are still there, though the Nortons no longer own the property. Luckily the current property owners are also happy to let people enjoy the trails, and I make an effort to do some skiiing up there whenever I might be home for a visit.



Thursday, Oct. 25, 1984
The long weekend has arrived! Since the beginning of school, these are the first days we've had off.

This morning Marie and myself went to WPNT to make our promo tape. All this past week I've been calling WPNT and arranging a time to do the taping, and getting everything set-up. One of the reasons I picked today to do it, is because I had planned, secretly, to bring Marie home after the taping, to have lunch and hopefully stay the afternoon. I didn't tell my mother, nor Marie about Master Plan.

Anyway, the taping went fine. It was nice to be able to see the inside of a radio station, since I suspect I'll be seeing a lot more of them if I do indeed go into communications. The taping took only about 15 minutes. We picked some classical music for the background, and then we taped the dialog about five times, and got a good run. It's supposed to run on the air as soon as possible. It's also going to be distributed around to the other area radio stations.

As far as Master Plan goes, it wasn't a disaster, nor was it a success. To be blunt, the main reason I wanted to bring Marie home with me was to get her alone, and have the opportunity to throw a pass at her. After the taping I asked her if she'd like to have lunch at my house, and she accepted. When we got here we had lunch, and then Mom came home for lunch. After Mom left, at about 12:55 Pm, Marie and myself fooled-around with the satellite TV. Then I showed her my computer and we listened to the stereo. At about 2:15 Pm we went for a walk up on the Norton trails, to where we made our movies. When we got back we sat on the couch and flirted around and talked.

I say that it wasn't a failure, but not a success because of this. My original goal was to kiss her, and if she liked it, we'd proceed from there. As it turned out, I didn't kiss her but we did do some serious flirting. We had physically involved pillow-fights, and tweaked each others noses a lot. There were quite a few times that I had a real strong urge to kiss her, but I just didn't know how she'd react, so I didn't dare. In my mind there were two ways she could take it. Either she could enjoy it and kiss me back, or she could really get upset at me for doing it. I just didn't dare spoil what we had already got going. Anyway, it was still nice to have her all to myself for the afternoon, and do what we did.

From what I hear from people, Julie says that she's really stuck on me. I don't know when her attitude changed, but from people who've talked to her, she says that she really likes me. Some sources say that she cries a lot in school, because of me. She called Bill up last night to see, for Sara, how he was after breaking-up with Sara. She also talked to him about me. Bill called me up tonight and told me that she likes me a lot. I really don't feel anything for her. I feel like she had her chance this past summer, and since she led me on and then hurt my feelings back then, it's only right that she gets her fair share, too. And Bill, Larry and Benji are all going to a costume party at her house this Saturday, and Julie wants me to come, too. She told me on the phone the other day, that she wants to talk to me there, because she can't say what she wants to say to me over the phone. I'm still uncertain if I want to put myself in an awkward position like that. I might go, but I'm not sure what to wear, and also don't know if I want to face Julie. It's just that I'm so high on Marie, that I can't really think about any other girl.

Well, I really don't have too much homework for this weekend. I'm got to have Aaron over sometime so we can work on a Physics lab, that our first attempt failed at. We had to build a catapult of sorts and the mortar tube Aaron built didn't work. We had fun playing with the explosives, but the results weren't any good. So now I'm going to use my bow and arrow. I also should write-up my Physics term paper this weekend. Other than that, I hardly have any homework.

What worries me, is that next week, PLAY WEEK, is the last week of the quarter. That usually means a lot of tests. Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday we're having rehearsals from after school, through to about 10:00 Pm. That basically means, NO TIME FOR SCHOOL WORK. I hope to get the lab written up this weekend, so I won't have it to do during production week.

We didn't have any rehearsal today, or I should say I didn't have to go, and neither did Marie. (Thank, God) There were times allotted to individual scenes, and neither myself nor Marie had to go. Tomorrow, from 2:00 Pm to 4:30 Pm, we're running the play. Props are coming along good. They went on a shopping spree yesterday, and came up with the rest of my props basically. My costume is almost complete. They're going to find me a white undercoat, black tailed coat, and a black bow-tie. I already have the rest. We're getting there.

Right now Mom's gone out to dinner with the people from the office; it's 8:30 Pm. I think I'll go now, and maybe read some more one-acts. I might write again, if I go to Julie's party, to tell what she had to say. I have a feeling that it's going to be really a rough night if I go. If not, until next weekend ...

Saturday, November 19, 2005

Crestwell's shoes

shoes
My grandfather on my mother's side died in 1976, I believe. One of the handful of things I inherited was, oddly, his pair of black dress shoes (right).

These were the shoes I wore as Crestwell in "Relative Values" in the autumn of 1984, as explained in this, the 62nd entry to my actual 1984 diary.

I went on to wear those shoes in countless plays as an adult. Thirty years later, they still sit in my closet gathering dust, until I clean them off for another play.

There's masking tape on the inside of each shoe, on which you can still just barely make out "Cameron Frye 'Crestwell'."


Sunday, Oct. 21, 1984
This past week has flown by quickly, like the three before it. I don't know why, but time seems to really be moving for me lately.

Well, let's see if I can remember the important things that happened this week, if there are any. Rehearsals have been going so-so. The one major problem I see, along with the director who is getting really fed-up with the problem, is that people aren't learning their lines. Some people don't even have a basic idea of what their lines are, while others have some idea, but substitute words and change them around a little. The director is being real fussy about learning lines down to every word. Luckily I don't have any problem doing that. This next week our leading lady, Alison Smithers, is going to be away visiting colleges. That means fairly little can get done. It dawned on me during this week, how close the show really is. We now have next week for rehearsing, and three days of the week after that; the show is Nov. 1, 2 and 3.

The set's coming slowly along, but prop collection is really slow. We've been working on getting costumes, but that doesn't pose too much of a threat, as the director has a friend who owns a costume shop. Right now I've got my pants, shoes, socks and white gloves, but I'm not sure what they want me to wear for a shirt and coat.

My lines are coming along quite well. I know all of them, but I still want to run them over and over, just to really beat them into my brain. Perhaps the hardest part of memorization for me, is learning when I enter, since I have quite a few entrances, which all seem the same. If neccessary I'm going to make a little note card filled with notes on my entrances.

I'm feeling quite a bit better about the show than I was last weekend, after that Saturday rehearsal. I'm really looking forward to being able to start getting into costume, and what have you. The director is planning a slide-show that will show right before the show, which will be put to music. The slides will be of fancy rooms and objects, and of the cast, in costume and make-up, in various poses from the show and not from the show. The pictures are going to be taken soon, I guess.

This past week, Libby Snelling gave me the opportunity to write the radio promos for the show. Usually, we have one or two radio promos play on like WPNT and/or WRAI/WPLY before the show to advertize. Usually the promos are pieces taken from the play, and glued together to sort of summarize the play, and then tell when it's playing, and what have you. I had thought about asking Libby if I could have a shot at writing them this year, but as it turned out, she asked me. I've always wanted to be able to go to the radio station and make the tape, but I was never given the opportunity to, because of the nature of my part in the play, or what have you. Well, naturally, when I wrote the promo this past week, I wrote myself into it, so I'd be able to do something that I've been wanting to do for some time. Libby said that she thought I should be in it, and it might even be possible for me to the only person in it. I tried to write one with just myself speaking, but it was real hard. I decided I needed another character to help me set-up the situation of the play. After looking through the script it was obvious that Marie's part would be the perfect one. Together with my part, the situation could easily be explained. Besides that, I thought Marie would be thrilled to be able to do some thing like that. And besides, again, I do like Marie. Well, anyway, I sat down and took lines from the play and edited them together to make a quite good promo. I copy to Libby and the director, Cathryn, and they both were very positive about it. They said it was perfect. When I told Marie, she wasn't as thrilled as I thought she'd be, in fact she said she didn't want to do it. But I think that was just an act. Anyhow, she will do it; there's no doubt about that.

All the plays I wanted to read for the Proscenium entry came sometime this week or last. I've read about eight out of the 13 or so. I've got two that I really like and the rest I really don't.

The letter I wrote to the editor of the school paper went in. This past week there was something special taking place school. It was a three-day, three periods each day, seminar about government. Since I am in Government class, we were forced to take active roles in the seminar. The last day, Thursday, the day the school paper came out, we had to do a presidential debate in front of the audience that showed up. The author of the editorial that I critized was in the audience, and I was fearing that he would really try to "get me" for my letter. As it turned out, it wasn't that bad. I was still really glad the letter went in.

I finished-up with my Middletown application today, and it's now all ready to send in.

Marie's great, as usual. She's still got my brains all messed-up. Friday she seemed to be unusually friendly to me. I thought it might have been my imagination, but Bill noticed it, too. And then Friday early-evening she called me, which she hardly ever does just to talk. We talked until about an hour and 40 minutes had passed, until my mother told me to get off the phone. It was a good conversation, and we were a little more open and honest to each other than we usually are. Her mother was in the room with her, and she kept on getting on the phone to say things, as she was kind of eavesdropping on our conversation. I really like Marie's mother. Usually a girl's parents you're supposed to feel awkward around, but her mom makes me feel really relaxed. She's fun, too. I wish I could say as much for her father. I've never met him, but he doesn't seem too friendly.

Saturday morning I got a call from Aaron and Marie, at the same time. They were at Waybury Valley Music try-outs. Marie wanted me to come over, but I really couldn't, as I was going to get my hair cut that morning. Aaron had gone an seen "The Boyfriend" again the night before, along with some other people, on sort of a gang blind date. They had tried to convince me to go too as they had a girl from Lincoln that they wanted me to meet. As it turned out it was a good thing that I didn't go; the girl was supposedly really a no-personality ape.

Last night I went to a church in Maynard with the Jazz Band, to play at a supper-dance. It went okay. During our breaks we went up into the church part (the dance was downstairs) and played around in the semi-darkness. It was fine, until one time the priest came up and caught us, which kind of embarrseed Aaron, as it was his church and he knew the priest. Anyway, we had a fairly good time, and got done around 12:00 midnight.

Well, I guess that's it for now, I've had a lot of this to do this weekend, what's new, and I've still got some to do. I'm going to call Marie sometime today. Enclosed is a little letter I found stuck in one of the Proscenium scripts, after she insisted on taking it to read, before I had the chance to read it. This next school week is only three days long, as Thursday and Friday are teacher convention days, or something like that. Maybe then I'll have some time to relax and get some things done. I doubt it.

Friday, November 18, 2005

Show stopper

It would probably be an exaggeration to say that the rehearsal where Marie was on the verge of tears was a turning point in the way I viewed interpersonal relationships.

On the other hand, I don't think I'd ever felt someone else's emotions having such an effect on my own until that day.


Sunday, Oct. 14, 1984
Well, the end of another extremely full weekend is almost finished. I did a lot of things this weekend, and it looks as if I won't be able to get all that I want to get done, done.

The week went by without much event. Friday there was a costume dance at our school. Thursday Julie called me up and asked me who I "was taking" to the dance, and I told her nobody, and in fact I might not even go. She asked me if I'd like to bring her. I really have to say that I would have rather not have brought her, but it was kind of hard to tell her no. So she called up again Friday afternoon for my answer, and I told her that I'd bring her, but not to expect me to dance with her, because I don't dance ... ever. She agreed, and so she still wanted to go. Then I found out that I couldn't get the car, so Benji drove me and Julie to and back from the dance. We picked her up at the Northville Elemntary School, since she had some business beforehand there, I dressed-up in a dress I got from the costume room at school. I had Anne make me up, and I looked almost like a convincing woman.

Marie was there too. That was one of the reasons I didn't really want to bring Julie. Anyway, Julie asked me to dance but I flat-out refused. Then she kind of went off on her own, and danced with other people, which really didn't bother me a bit. I'd rather have her having a good time with other people then bothering me to dance with her. Marie asked me to dance with her, but I also refused. I really would have liked to dance a slow one with her, but then what would Julie have thought if she saw me? Another reason I didn't want to bring her. Well, after the dance Benji drove Julie home, and then we all went (Aaron, Benji and myself) to the Aunt Betty's Everything Pizza, and had some Dew and a grinder or two. After that we had heard that Marie was staying over at Nicole Sullivan's house, who is another girl who was in "Hocus Pocus," and also in "Relative Values," and who lives in Northville. So after the Aunt Betty's Everything Pizza (hearafter refered to as ABEP) we drove there, and parked the cars a little down the road.

We walked to the house, and snuck around the yard for a bit, to scout the place out. We could see Nicole and Marie in the living room watching TV. According to Marie, Nicole's mom was gone. So after a while we took some firecrackers and got underneath the picture window of the room where the two girls were. Aaron and I both lit one and threw it up in the air, where they both exploded. Then we all took off toward the road. The front light came on, and then we saw Marie and Nicole come to the window. According to Benji another bedroom light came on, so we decided to take-off. And another successful tarting had been accomplished.

Saturday from 9:30 Am to 1:30 Am we were supposed to have some crapy improv sort of workshop for "Relative Values," which none of us were looking forward to. As it turned out, the workshop was turned into a regular rehearsal. Pity! Anyway, the rehearsal went real lousy, and soon in the morning I fell into a medium depth depression. The director was being real picky with my part, and made me do a part over and over again, and ended-up changing practically my whole character. This along with my feeling for a certain dark haired freshman with the initials of M.R. made most of my day miserable.

I forgot to metion another rehearsal this past week. The director was obviously in a bad mood, and really stuck it to Marie. After we had done a scene she layed into Marie, along with the rest of the cast. After the speech Marie stormed out of the aud, and when she returned we had started the scnee over again, and she had missed her entrance. She walked onto stage to do her part, and I was the only other one in the scene. It became obvious that she was starting to cry, but she was trying to hold it in. It really upset me to see her like that, and it was hard for me to finish the scene, but we did. By the end of the day I had quite a tension headache. I usually don't get upset just because someone else is, but with Marie it was different.

I wrote her a letter and gave it to her the next day, to let her know how I felt. She returned one to me the next day. A rough draft of mine, and the letter she gave to me, are enclosed. I wrote her another one today, and am going to give it to her tomorrow. Also enclosed is a letter I wrote to the editor of the school paper, and gag letter I'm going to send to my, Physics teacher, Peter Priestly, better known to the Bozoes as Mr. P(Squared).

Saturday evening Aaron, Benji, Marie and myself went to see "The Boyfriend" at the Bridgton Opera House. It was a really fantastic play. Robert Dillard, Anne's boyfriend, had the lead. That's why Anne was home this weekend. Aaron gave Marie a ride there in the paper truck, and I gave Benji a ride. Afterwards, Aaron was going to go the cast party, so I gave Marie a ride home. It was more convienient to drop Benji off first (Pity!) so I did. Then half way home to Marie's we decided to turn around and go for a pizza. I didn't have enough money, so we settled for a soda at Zippy's. Then I brought her home.

Well, I feel like I could say so much more, but I'm just damn sick of doing something right now. I'd like to just relax, but there's still more I should do. I feel as if I could elaborate a lot more on the way I've been feeling about Marie, but an abridged version just won't do, so I'll put it off until I can go into detail.

Sorry for the shittyness of this entry, but I tried to rush through it. Oh well, until next time ...

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Groucho got ruined

Sadly, I remember the spilled drink at what was my first "porn party" more than the porn.

When the host of the party got on the phone to the guy who rented the apartment — he couldn't wait until the guy got home from working second shift; he had to call him at work to explain the accident, as if a guest had drowned in the pool — he told him, "Groucho got ruined," referring to a biography of that most-famous Marx brother that was the recipient of the majority of the spilled spirits.

Another coincidence would play out 18 months later: When I started working my first radio job in the summer of '86, I came to know the renter of the apartment. He was the evening announcer at the station, and one of the nicest guys in the world.

I don't know if he ever knew I was one of the people accused of "ruining Groucho" in the autumn of 1984.


Sunday, Oct. 7, 1984
Well, if I thought I had a lot of things to do last weekend, I don't how to describe this weekend! In addition to my regular homework, I should work on filling out my "final draft" of my Middletown application, fill-out my transcript and recommendation forms, read some of the one-acts that are beginning to pile up on my bureau, look over my senior picture proofs, learn more "Relative Values" lines, practice, and work on my Physics research paper, which is roughly due in 2 1/2 weeks, or so. The fact that I haven't lost my mind yet, is quite amazing.

This past week went by really fast. School work's been quite light during the week, but on the weekend! Rehearsals have been going okay, too. We've blocked our way through the second act, and have started on act three, right on schedule. The two times I drove to school this past week, I've brought Marie home afterwards. Both times I had something to do in Bridgton, so she went with me there, before going home.

Sometime at the end of last week, or the beginning of the week just passed, I rewrote my play for the final time. I gave the copy to Sam, and he read it for mistakes. Then Friday, after rehearsal, I ran over to Quick Copy and had three copies made of it: one for the publisher, one for general circulation around my friends and others who'd like to read it, and one copy for Marie to keep for herself. I guess I'm giving her a copy to keep, partly because I simply like her. Also, she was one of the motivating factors that led me to write the play in the first place. She also has acted real anxious to read it, from the time that I told her that I'd written a play, so I thought she'd like to have her own copy. In her copy I stuck in an extra page, after the cover sheet. On the page I wrote, not typed, a little message explaining the role that she had in my writing the play. Enclosed is a copy of what I wrote (right, click it for a full-sized version), actually enclosed is a "rough draft" of what I wrote. I'm going to give the whole thing to her on Monday.

Yesterday my mother found a bracelet in the car. So yesterday evening, at about 8:00 Pm, I gave Marie a call to ask her if she had lost a braclet. Sure enough she did, and after that was settled, we proceeded to talk for about and hour and 40 minutes. I noticed a real change from the times that I had called her before and could tell that she didn't really want to talk with me. This time I could barely get her to stop talking. Anyway, after I got off the phone with her, the phone rang. I answered and it was Julie. She asked me who I was talking with, and I sort of purposely stuttered, and said, "Marie." That kind of threw a wrench in the works. After an awkward pause, I told her that I called to see if a bracelet I found in my car was hers. Then Julie said, "For 40 minutes?" I really wish I had taped that call; it was pretty funny. Anyway, we talked for about 20 minutes, or so, and then she left, since she wasn't supposed to be up at 9:45 Pm, and she was only doing it because her parents were out.

Well, I guess I'll go now. Not much really happened ... Wait! One thing I forgot to mention. Friday night I went to a party at an apartment of a friend of Darla Carlson Darla plays trombone in Lhe Lincoln band, was in "South Pacific," and is Larry's girlfriend. I hadn't planned on going until Benji called me Friday at about 5:15 Pm, and said that he was going, and would give me a ride if I wanted one. Anyway, we went at about 8:45 Pm, and went to the hospital, to meet Aaron and Paul, since they were rehearsing for some band for Octoberfest at the hospital. Then we all went to the party. It was supposed to be a "porn party," and in fact it was. They had rented a couple of movies on videotape, and we watched then. There were about 15 people there, and I knew most all of them. I would have had a fairly good time, except that someone spilled a glass of vodka that was sitting on the floor. There also were stacks upon stacks of books on the floor, under the end table. When it was discoveed, Paul and I were blamed by some flaming asshole at the party, who was one of the people responsible for the use of the apartment. (We were sitting on the floor near the spilled glass.) I don't know his name, but feel that he's probably been out of high school for some years. Anyway, he actually had enough nerve to try to make Paul and myself pay for the books that got "ruined", even though no one knew exactly who tipped the glass. At that point I was ready to walk out of the room and leave. But since I hadn't driven myself, I really couldn't do that. The nerve that that ass had, still is bugging the hell out of me. Anyway, after that incident, the evening was pretty much ruined, for me at least.

Well, now I think I'm ready to go. I think I'll go and work on one of the many things that I should get done soon. Chow.

Sunday, November 13, 2005

Q: Are we not men?

book cover
Like a lot of guys my age in the mid-'80s, Devo held a certain fascination for me.

I just about wore out my vinyl copy of "New Traditionalists" somewhere during my junior high/senior high years. (Don't worry: I own it on CD now.) And I adorned the kraft paper cover of one of my text books with the group's name (right), and, for some reason, made it part of my 1984 diary when the school year ended.

I actually saw the band live just this past summer — driving nearly eight hours to take in their show alone in Atlantic City.

I've taken no small amount of good-natured grief from friends for making that trek, but I don't regret it for a second. In some way, it felt like the circle had been made complete.


Sunday, Sept. 30, 1984
Well, chalk-up another week gone by in my long and weary life! This week went by fairly fast, and without any real events.

We've had rehearsal every day after school until the late buses. I've been driving every other day, or so, so I don't have to ride the late bus. Rehearsals have been steadily progressing. We've worked our way through the first act blocking, and part of the second act, too. The way this play is being directed is so much different than "Hocus Pocus," in which we practically directed ourselves. I'm feeling real good about the progress that we're making. They've even already started to build the set, although not all that much has been done yet.

The days that I drive I always give Marie a ride home after the rehearsal. She always asks for it, but if she didn't I'd offer it anyway. I really never get to spend any time alone with her, except for a short time in the car, which is the reason I like to give her rides home. Like I mentioned last week, the play has renewed our friendship quite a bit. At the beginning of school she seemed real snobby, and we never talked at all. Now that we're both in "Relative Values," she's turned back into her usual old flirty self. I'd like to be able to say that I'm unaffected when she turns on her female charm, but I'd just be lying; I live for those after school rehearsals, when I can be around her, and have her pay attention to me. I try to tell myself that it doesn't mean anything, that she does it to just about everyone, but it's hard to listen to myself. I get caught-up in it all just the same.

Marie and myself sort of have this running-gag about writing things in each other's scripts. It all began back during "Hocus Pocus," when she left her script in the auditorium, I believe, and I picked it up and brought it home, to give to her the next day. While I had it, I thought I'd write a few comical comments on it. So I drew a cartoon of a man say, "Keep hold of your script, Tart!" Then I added on to a little blurb that said Marie + Denny Cale (I believe), so that it read, "Marie + Denny Cale + Bozo-the-Clown + Boy George + John Q. Public + Devo". Then I proceeded to cover her back cover with a rubber stamp of DEVO.

Ever since then, whenever we get the chance, one of us takes the other's script and fills it with sny comments. This last week she got ahold of mine, and put DEVO on each page, little does she know that I actual like Devo, a musical group. Then this past Friday she got ahold of it and wrote a semi-sweet message to me in the front cover. I've been thinking about writing her back something, but probably not in her script, to let her know how I feel about her and I might do it sometime.

Tuesday night I had very little homework, even after rehearsal, so I decided to go to Bridgton City Band. For the first half, Julie wasn't there. But when we got back from our "Dew run" during the half-time break, she was there. I didn't say much to her, nor did she say that much to me. After the rehearsal, Benji/Aaron and myself went and goofed Liza's house, a girl that was in "South Pacific," and then went to the Aunt Betty's Everything Pizza and had a pizza.

This weekend's been overflowing with stuff I want to get done. There was a drama-club meeting this past Thursday, and at it I was put in charge of making sure that we get a one-act play entered in the Proscenium Competition this spring. This weekend I've been mauling over the play catalogs, and I came up with a list of about 15. I'me going to get copies of about five of them, hope fully, from Libby Snelling. I also have to find us a director, a student or otherwise. I also want to get "Skies Above," my one-act, rewritten so Sam can send it in, and I can let some people read it who want to read it, Libby Snelling and Marie, for example. This week we were filled-in on a research paper for Physics, due near the end of October. I worked on that for most of the afternoon. I forgot to mention that there was a school dance on Friday, but I didn't go because I felt like there was so many things I have to get done, and also it was a sock-hop, and I didn't really feel like finding a costume. Also (there are a lot of alsos, aren't there?), Aaron and Larry were planning to do some drinking before the dance, so I decided I didn't want to be with them that night.

Then, or course, there's memorizing lines for "Relative Values." Now I've gotten through the first scene of the second act. Like I said before, I've also been considering writing Marie an open-hearted letter, but I think that'll have to wait.

Julie called me last night, while she was baby-sitting. My parents were gone to dinner at some friend's of my mother's. We talked about 1/2 hour, or so,

Well, I think I'll go now, and do some of the things I mentioned earlier. Until next time ...