Sunday, August 28, 2005

The Julie dilemma

It's funny to me now how conflicted I was about letting my parents know that I had met Julie. What was the big deal?

This, the 30th entry to my 1984 diary, offers no clues.

Saturday, June 9, 1984
Well, an anticlimax to an anticlimax. Yesterday school was canceled again. Bill had called me up the night before to tell me, so I already knew. It appears that the water-main to the school had broke, and the roads to a lot of the bus routes were still unpassable. This whole thing has kind of wrecked my plan of study for finals. Now we have to go until Wednesday. I wish we had had school, because I can't enjoy these days off, knowing that we still have three days of school to go. Also, originally I was going to have only one test to study for this weekend, but now I still have the others, too.

On Thursday, I believe, Julie called me. She said that some members of her band we going to all go to a movie together, and then to a bon-fire afterwards. She asked me if I'd like to go, too. She said it wasn't definite, so she didn't make any promises. This invitation kind of threw a wrench in the works for me. Now I was going to have to somehow explain this entire situation to my parents, ask them if I could go, and then of course go to the party and probably feel very out of place. Well, I was feeling quite confused until she called again yesterday to tell me that the party was only for band members, therefore I couldn't come. I know that must make her sound like a cruel fool (that rhyme was totally unintentional), but she really isn't. I could tell that it was hard for her to tell me it, but I told her that I understood. Afterall, in the beginning she told me that it wasn't definite. She said that she had wanted to go to a movie that night with a friend and me, but the friend couldn't make it, so her parents told her she couldn't go either.

I forgot to mention a couple of week back that our Memorial Parade was cancelled due to rain. I didn't feel too hurt. This Sunday we have to play at Bacclureate (?) service at the school.

I thought about go to the flying field yesterday evening, but it was too windy. This morning is no different. I fixed the nose gear, by replacing the old push-rod with a piece of coat hanger. I don't know if it'll work, but I'm hoping so. Tonight I plan on trying it out, as long as the wind dies down.

Today I have to go and get my hair cut, and this afternoon I'm going to go to Gram's to mow. Probably most of my free time this weekend, will be spent studying. Probably will write after school is out, which will probably be on Wednesday. Until then ...

Saturday, August 27, 2005


Bob "Larry" Lawrence, mentioned in this, the 29th entry to my 1984 diary, is a guy I got to know during '84 when we sat next to each other in Expo class.

I'd known him since we started going to school together in 7th grade, but it wasn't until Expo that we had much to say to each other. Always irreverant and mildly subversive, he became a friend by suffering with me through what was considered the toughest writing class my high school offered.

Oddly, though he wasn't what I would consider a member of my small, but tight, group of friends during high school, we've stayed in touch all these years. Through college, I'd see him during breaks when I came home, as he attended the university in Dawson, the largest city in my home state. Now he's lived out of state for many years, but I tend to see him once or twice a year when he blows into town with his wife, and now children, always without any kind of warning.

Thursday, June 6, 1984
No this is not one of those days that something exciting happens, but let's say something out of the ordinary. I don't ever remember school ever being called off because of flooding. But last night we had a terrible thunder storm, and a lot of places have real bad floods. About three schools have been canceled, not to mention all of the elementary schools. Bill called me up this morning, and it appears that Winchester got it real bad. His whole cellar is flood to the rim, but now is starting to recede. For me, this whole thing is somewhat an anticlimax. I mean, last night I finished my studying for my first real exams, and I said good-bye forever to ever having to do work in those classes again, and now I feel as if I should review some more. This also means that we have to go to school on Tuesday, instead of getting out on Monday.

I talked to Julie at the beginning of the week, and she called me again last night at about 9:30 Pm. I was in bed, but listening to my Walkman. Right now I'm beginning to get a little tired of her. After I met her I was really excited, but it's been so long that I've seen her, I've started to lose interest. Hopefully I'll be able to ask her out soon, and that will spark my interest once again.

EXPO IS OVER! Our "final" was yesterday. It didn't count on our grade, but she made us write two essays. I didn't mind it since it wasn't going to count, and I think I ended up with perhaps two of the most humorous essays I've written all year. I still can't get over that it's all over. In the beginning of the year it seemed like it would last a lifetime, and now it's over. After me and Larry finished the essays, we walked out of the classroom, and the most unusual sensation came over me. When I look back at this school year, Expo is going to be one of the things I remember the most.

Well, there are other things I have to say, but I think I'll save them for the weekend, since this was just supposed to be a supplimental entry any way. Until then ...

Making the grade

The Expository Writing class that I mention for the umpteenth time in this, the 28th entry to my 1984 diary, was a class that really tested me my junior year.

I was an A student, who rarely, if ever, got a B. (And when I did, it was usually a B+.) But the first writing assignment for my Expo class earned me an F.

I don't remember what the assignment was or how my teacher perceived it as faulty. And now, many years later, I suspect the paper wasn't so worthy of an F, but that my teacher took the opportunity of giving me my first failing grade on an assignment as a strategic step to shake me up.

When I went to her with my concerns about the paper, she asked me to meet her in the library out of class for a talk. My memory's foggy, but what she told me at the meeting in thinly veiled euphemisms as I held a lump in my throat over what I perceived as the embarassment and humiliation of having a heart-to-heart with a teacher outside of class, was this: Grades really didn't matter all that much. I was young. Enjoy my youth. Chase girls. Lighten up.

At the time I was puzzled. Now I realize she was entirely right.

Saturday, June 2, 1984
Well, another week passes. If I remember correctly Julie and I have talked nearly every other day. Usually she calls me, but once in a while I'll call her. What happens a lot of the time is that I make up my mind that I'm going to call her, but she calls me just before I get to call her. Anyways, not much has changed in regards to her this week. I'd like to ask her out to a movie soon, before she loses interest in me; that's something I worry about. But the problem is that I'm broke and obviously can't afford to pay for two tickets to the movies. Boy, do girls have it easy when it comes to dates! (That last word in that sentence is one that I don't like, and therefore don't use too often.) I've been thinking about telling her my situation and telling her that when I can I'll take her out to a movie or something.

Took the SATs for the second time today. I can remember when I took them for the first time and then registered for them again it seemed like June 2nd was such a long way away. I mean, that would be near the end of school! Well, believe it or not it arrived. I took them at Montpelier this time; I had no choice. I don't think that I did quite as well this time, but you can't tell. After the SATs I went to Gram's to mow the lawn, and she finally paid me. I got 15 dollars, 5 of which I need to save for a yearbook, and another 8 of which I'm going to spend to develop an ancient roll of film that's been in my camera for probably over a half of a year. It has some pictures of the dressing room during "Hocus Pocus" that I'm eager to see, although there are none of me. Andy loaned me a slide that he took of the entire cast, and I sent it away to have an 8" x 10" made of it.

I've mowed our lawn twice now, but haven't been paid. I've been thinking that since my parents want me to get a job, they probably aren't going to pay me for doing the lawn this summer. That's something that's really been bothering me lately. I feel that my parents, especially my father, is going to be mad at me if I don't get a job. I would think that I probably could get one at some dump like Burger King or something, but I just don't want to suffer the humiliation. I'm still going to check someother places before I give up. If I can't find one, I might go back to the lady's house that I went to last summer, to see if she wants me to do her lawn. There's another lady down the road that's a posibility. I feel that if I get a couple more lawns to do, that I wouldn't feel so guilty, as if I was just bumming around the house.

We had our Roman Banquet this Monday, and we had to put on another play. It was real short, and I had only three lines. It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be, but still it feels good to be over it.

Schools about to end; we get out on the 11th. It's funny how all of a sudden that's all that everybody's talking about, when about two weeks ago nobody even realized it. This is traditionally "finals study weekend" for me, and this year is no exception. One bit of good news; there will be no Expo final. Our final papers counted as our final test. That leaves me with four final tests. One I'm not going to think about until next weekend, since that's the only test I have on Monday the 11th. So that leaves me with three to get ready by Wednesday or so. It looks as if we won't have any more Expo homework for the year. It seems so strange that it's over. In the beginning of the year I felt like the whole weight of the world was on my shoulders with that class; now I've survived.

Before the end of school I have to make up my mind if I'm going to do a summer drama workshop at school. It runs for two weeks, and ends on my birthday. On that date we'll put on part of our plays that we would have been preparing during the two weeks. We would also cover other aspects, such as make-up, stage sets, etc. It costs $50, and might conflict with a job, if I get one. It goes from 8:30 Am - 12:00 Pm, Mondays through Fridays. I'd like to do it because Aaron, Bill and Marie are doing it and I'd really feel alienated if I couldn't share the experience with them. Right now I don't know what I'll do.

Tomorrow I'll probably spend the whole day studying for tests. Also, I might call, or receive a call from, Julie. Anyway, next weekend I should have a little more time, and perhaps I'll get in a little more detailed entry.

Sunday, August 21, 2005

Where's Paul now?

Paul "Chips" Pringles (not his real name), who I mention a few times in this, the 27th entry to my 1984 diary, is a guy I pretty much lost touch with after high school. By the time I was out of college, I pretty much stopped getting together with him, for no good reason except that, sometimes, geographic proximity helps determine your friends when you're younger.

I ran into him for the first time in several years a couple months ago, while I was enjoying a walk around town during my lunch hour. Now an electrician, he was working on a construction project along my route. We stopped and caught up for a few minutes, and then went our separate ways.

Saturday, May 26, 1984
Someone tell me when it's over! Today my head's been reeling around because I've got so many things floating around up there. Guess I'll start with Julie.

As it looks, last week I left you with several unanswered questions. Well, many of them were answered when Julie called me. At least that way I didn't have to think about calling her; she made up my mind for me. In fact, I think that she called the evening I wrote the entry. Anyways, we talked, but I didn't mention her "seven boyfriends." She said that she couldn't have stayed after the concert because she had to leave. That sounds logical, since she isn't old enough to drive herself, she had to leave when her parents left. Anyways, I also called her sometime later in the week.

Yesterday, Paul Pringles learned that Lincoln had a concert that night, and since him and Aaron know people in the band, they wanted to go. I decided to go also, since I thought I might be able to meet Julie. We got there and watched part of the concert then went into the lobby after the first part, and during intermissbn. When the curtain first opened up, I could see the whole clarinet section. There weren't many good looking girls, and from the ones there I picked the one that I hoped was her. I leaned over to Aaron, and asked him which one she was, and low and behold it was the one I hoped it was. Right now I feel the urge to tell a funny story. When I asked Aaron which one she was I wanted to make sure that I understood him correctly. When he told me the answer, I asked him again, "The one on the far left, front row?" He quietly said, "Yes." Then I asked him again, fairly loudly, just to make sure. Again he quietly said, "Yes," and then it loooked as if he was holding in a laugh. When the music sarted to play again, he leaned over to me to tell me that her parents were sitting directly qehind me! I felt pretty embarrassed, assuming that they heard me.

Well, during intermission, in the lobby, Julie approached me and kind of introduced herself. When I turned around, Aaron had disappeared. She asked me if I wanted to get away from the crowd, so we walked down into an empty hall, and she brought me into a dark gym. You know, this sounds like one of those stories that you might read in a porn magazine, and the next thing I'm supposed to tell you is that we screwed behind the bleachers. On the contrary, we kind of hung around there for a while then wandered about the place making small talk. I still wonder if she did have some motive in getting me alone with her. I can't really see any reason, unless she wanted to throw a pass at me, or give me the opportunity to throw one at her.

I guess maybe here I should mention what she looks like. From the beginning I was worrying that she wasn't that good looking, but now that I've seen her I'm deliriously surprised. She really is quite good looking! She has dark hair that stops at about the bottom of her neck, and is 5' 7" or so. She has a really nice complexion, and a pretty face. She was dressed real nice, and over all she's very pretty.

After the concert I saw her again as she was leaving. We had heard that a lot of the members of the band were getting together at Timothy's afterwords, so we went there, too. Julie was there, and we spent most of our time there, together, although Benji was in the same booth with us. Once in a while she left to sit with her friends, but for the most part we sat together.

I'd have to say that our conversation was sort of awkward, but we made it OK. She kind of invited me to a party afterwards, but I declined, since I didn't know where it was, nor did she, nor did I feel like calling home and trying to explain the whole situation to Mom & Dad. My parents don't know any thing about the situation with Julie, except that Mom answered the phone one time when she called.

Before I get the concert to far back in the story, I've got some more things to say about it. First of all, it was pretty good. The interesting part comes near the end when their stage band played. They played all swing tunes, and encouraged people to come up front and dance. Maybe encouraged is too mild of a word here. There were 5 or so girls that were running through the audience trying to get guys to dance with them. Just as my luck had it, I was sitting in the isle seat. I started to sweat bullets. One of them ran up to me and asked politely if I wanted to dance. I politely said no in response. But then she started to physical, and pulled at my arm. Talk about embarrassing. I wouldn't give in, but told her to ask Paul, sitting next to me. He wouldn't either. Now up until now, it was bad enough. She left and found someone else. But afterwards, she came back, and she came back, and she came back. The same girl! I've got to ask Julie if she had anything to do with this. I felt like such a moron saying no, but it was just out of the question. Even at school dances I won't left myself unleash and have a good time. I certainly wasn't going to be able to here, in front of a whole audience. Afterwards, I saw the girl at Timothy's, and we joked around about it.

Guess that's about it for the concert experience. Just for the record, Aaron, Paul, Benji and I went. We couldn't get ahold of Bill. I'd have to say that I had a really good time last night. Meeting Julie, and fianlly being able to spend some time with her was really nice. Let it me known ... my switch was been flicked.

This afternoon she called me again. I had to finish the mowing, so I called her back later. She couldn't talk long, so I might call her tomorrow.

We stayed after to watch the video to the play, on Monday. The video didn't come out too great, but it was fun to watch myself, and relive the moment. Marie really flipped out after the video. She chased me all around the school because she wanted to mess up my hair. Finally there was no holding her back, and she got what she wanted, or at least what she said she wanted. I just love it when a girl isn't afraid to get physical.

This afternoon I went job hunting. Went to a bunch of camera stores and others, and got the same reply, they're not hiring. Next I'm going to go back to the radio stations and check-up there, then I might try the Job Service.

As I was coming home I saw Cecile's car parking at the flying field. I stopped and talked with him for a little while. I haven't seen him, or talked with him, since the beginning of school this year. I told him about my landing gear problem, and he offered to help me if I wanted him to. I probably will take him up on the offer. I felt so good after seeing him, just because it reminded me of last summer, and of flying. It also made me feel good to know that the help's there if I want it.

It's not long 'til the end of school. I've had so many things to think about, time is really passing fast. Right now what's on my mind is getting a job, and also Julie. That is, I'm thinking of Julie, not specifically of getting Julie. I think you know what I'm talking about. Anyways, Mom and Dad are gone this weekend, they're at Connecticut. Still, Alice is home. Tomorrow I've got to mow Gram's lawn and type the final draft of my Expo paper. Probably will call Julie, too. Like I said, I feel as if my head's spinning because things are happening so fast. I mean, for 16 years nobody shows any interest in me at all, and all of a sudden there's Julie. Well, I'll write sometime, probably next weekend.

Monday, August 15, 2005

Corey Hart, I ain't

Quick story about Julie, who's mentioned for the first time in this, the 26th entry to my 1984 diary:

One summer home from college, two or three years after I met her, I found myself making out with Julie in a bedroom at a house party Benji threw while his parents were out of town. After getting as far as removing her shirt, the phone happened to ring, which snapped the normally prudish Julie back to her senses. When she realized how far she'd let herself go, she proclaimed to me: "Not even if you were Corey Hart!"

It was funny then, and much funnier now, with 20 years' prospective. (Could her choice of musical heart-throb any better peg that story to the mid-'80s?)

I haven't been in touch with Julie since my college days. Benji very occasionally gets a call from her. Apparently she's still living in New England, married, with kids.

Sunday, May 20, 1984
May 20, Sun.: You know it's funny that the one week that I actually have some interesting things happen to me is the week that I don't have time to make an entry. I've been busy the past few weeks that I've hardly had any time for anything. I mean there's been the play, the exchange concerts, the spring concert, and before the play we had Saturday rehearsals for some time. Anyway, I guess I'll start explaining.

The last entry I made, I said that I probably was going to call Marie. As it turned out, the next morning (an inservice day, no school) Aaron called. He said that Marie had called him, to have me call her, to get the phone # of one of her cousins that saw me in the play and thought I was cute, so that I could call her. How's that for confusing? Well, later on that afternoon I did call her, but she wasn't there. Then I called again and talked with her, Marie that is. She told me that she had promised this girl that I would call her, and she gave me her # and name, which is Julie Kramer. She's 15, or so, and is a freshman at Lincoln High School in Bridgton. Well, being the way I am, I told Marie that there was no way that I could call somebody up who I didn't even know. She carried on about it over the phone, begging me to do it for her but I wouldn't give in. That evening I received about 9 phone calls, both from Marie and Aaron, and one or two from Bill, trying to persuade me to call her.

Throughout the next day I thought about the situation, and decided that it would be a big mistake to not call her, especially if she liked me as much as Marie said she did. I decided that I'd call her at 7:30 that night. However, at about 7:13 on May 7th (I like being exact), I got a call from her. I wasn't too surprised, since Marie said that she might call me. Incredibly we talked for about 1 hour and 20 minutes. She asked me if next time I would call her, since she felt "like a jerk" calling a boy. I said I would. On Thursday the 10th, I called her and we talked for 1/2 hour.

I say that I've never met her, but actually I did see her down in the dressing room before "Hocus Pocus," giving Marie some flowers. However, I don't remember what she looks like. She also said that she actually met me face to face when Bill, Aaron, Benji and I went to see "Pippin." Aaron and Bill (& I think Paul, too) have a friend that goes to Lincoln, but he couldn't find us during intermission of the play. So Julie and her sister brought him over to us, and we all talked for a little while. I kind of remember that, but again I don't remember the face. Well, I think I've got to go and do some mowing (first time this year), so I'll have to finish this story afterwords.

(Sometime afterwords) As it turns out, the grass is still wet, so I have about another 1/2 hour. Where was I? Oh yeah, well, that's the good part of the story. Julie and I decided that she would come to the exchange concert (last night) and we would finally meet. Now for the not so good part of the story. First of all, yesterday while riding to the roller skating rink in Wiliston for an afternoon activity with the exchange people (but that's another story), Marie told me that Julie has 7 other boyfriends. Now, I feel stupid just having to say something as absurd as that in the diary. How many people do you know who have 7 steady boyfriends? That's exactly what's bothering me right now. Sometimes you can't believe what Marie says, or sometimes she exaggerates. She also told me that her mother is getting mad at all of these people calling Julie, and she (Julie's mother) wanted all of them, including me, to stop. To top it all off, last night Marie said that Julie was at the concert, but afterwords, Marie told me that Julie told her that we had already met, and she left. So I never got to meet Julie.

So now we're where we are now. What next? Do I call Julie again and ask her what the hell she meant by "we've already met?" Do I talk to Marie and see what the actual situation is with Julie and her "seven boyfriends?" Do I just put the whole thing out of my mind, and never call Julie again? I really don't know what I should do. One thing that bothers me is that I think that it was really Marie, not Julie, that wanted me to meet Julie. Marie told me that she (meaning Julie), had flipped-out over me, and was going to go crazy if I didn't call her and agree to meet her. But what it looks like is nothing of that sort. Right now I'm really confused, and don't know what I should do. I probably could go on all day about this, but I haven't got the time, so I'll move onto the other things.

The weekend of May the 11th we went to Beaverton, Mass., for our exchange concert. Everything went OK, except the person I stayed with wasn't too friendly. There were four others that stayed at the place I stayed at. Only one of them I really knew, that was Bobby Clarkson. Still, I survived. Saturday afternoon we went to the mall and saw a movie ("Sixteen Candles"), and after the concert we went to a party, which proved to be pretty boring. Also, Friday evening there was a school dance that we went to, also. I guess that's all I really have to say about the trip. There seems like there should be more to say, but there really isn't.

This weekend, they came up here, for another concert. I was supposed to have one person stay here with me, but he wanted to stay somewhere else, so I didn't have anyone. I still went to the dance Friday night, which proved very boring, and Saturday afternoon we went roller skating. After the concert there was a party at someone's house, but I didn't go because there wasn't enough gas in the car, and I didn't know how to get there. That really got me mad that I couldn't go. I mean I could have given a ride to Marie and her "roomy", Erin, and probably spent the whole evening with one of them. Marie kept pulling at me to go, but there was just no way. Her roomy was really pretty and I'd bet I could have had a chance if I had gone to the party.

Well, I guess that I've updated you on what has happened in the past two weeks. Right now what is on my mind, is the situation with Julie. This afternoon I'm going to mow, if it doesn't rain, and I've also got some homework to do. Next weekend my parents will be gone to Connecticut for Aunt Jill's and Uncle Dave's anniversary party. Alice will probably be here, though. Also, next weekend I have to type the final draft of my Expo paper, and after that, on June 2nd I have SATs again. Also, my parents are pushing me hard to get a summer job. I haven't had enough time to go looking, and my mother says that it's already too late, that all of them are already taken. I don't know, it's just another headache in a million for me right now. Guess I'll finish it off for this week (and the week before). I'll write again next weekend probably.

Saturday, August 13, 2005

Breaking legs and the convoluted drive home

It's hard to describe to someone who doesn't do theatre what it's like being part of a cast. Although I've never been a participant in team sports, to speak of, I imagine it's a similar experience. You come together to work as a team to achieve a goal, and when the quarter ends, or the curtain falls, you go your separate ways.

Although I'm a committed introvert, I've always found it easy to get to know people quickly through theatre, which is one of the reasons I continue to do it today. (I went to auditions for a community theatre production just last night.) And the sentimental feelings I have when a show ends are still the same today as they were 20 years ago, as this, the 25th entry to my 1984 diary, shows.

As for the ride home I detail below, you have to appreciate the geography of my home state to appreciate the ridiculous route I followed that allowed me to deliver Marie home last. Nicole and I lived in the same town, and yet I chose to drop her off first. That has to tell you I had something up my sleeve. And I have to believe Marie knew it.

Sunday, May 6, 1984
Well, the play finished last night, and right now I'm in that special "post-play sentimental" mood. It's always so hard to beleive that it's all over. I think back to try-outs, and what life was like before the play, and it seems unimaginable. One of the things that's really sad for me is when you put away all of your props. It's just that for about two months I've been carrying all of these things around, and now I just put them away and forget about them. Things like the ropes I used to tie people up with on stage, the sacks Don and I carried around, and the needle that I used to thread my sweater. It seems foolish, but it's really sad to put all of these things away.

Then of course there are the people. It's funny how within such a relatively short period of time, how attached to the rest of the cast one can become. It's going to be really strange not be see these people day after day, like we saw each other during rehearsals.

So much for sentimentality; I guess I should let you know how the play went. Up until performance, things looked as if we'd really bomb. I know that usually, every play looks as if it's going to bomb, but then doesn't. But this one was a special case. Tech rehearsals went OK, and dress rehearsal was pretty good, except a major role didn't show up. The first performance was the in-school matinee, and as far as I'm concerned, it really stunk. I think a great deal of it was the audience; they were really "dead" and didn't laugh at hardly anything. Also, Don forgot a couple of his lines, which really screwed my scenes up. After that first performance I was really ashamed, and quite depressed.

But on Friday night we made up for Thursday. The audience was very responsive, and no major mistakes were made. Also, Saturday went through without any mistakes. So, overall, I'm glad to say that I think the play was quite successful. Another thing I can't quite get over, is how concerned we all were over how this play was going to turn out. We really thought we'd bomb. The pressure had been so intense on all of us, especially this last week. Now the play is over, and we don't need to worry anymore. I guess I should also say that the turn-out for the play was quite good every night, which made us feel better. Usually the last night of a play there is a cast party. However, this year no host could be found, so we all agreed on going to Juan's to hang around a while. We got there and for some reason we left immediately, and then went to Antonio's. There were about 12 or 13 or us (not all of the cast), and we ordered two large pizzas and two pichers of soda. It made me feel good to be able to be part of the official "cast party" and still not have to do anything I wouldn't want to do, like drink. We probably stayed l 1/2 hours or so, and then we all left. I gave Bill, Marie and Nicole a ride home.

First we dropped Nicole off, then Bill, and then I brought Marie home. I'm really beginning to like Marie, which is the reason I brought her home last. Since Nicole lives in Northville, and I dropped her off first, must tell you that I had something up my sleeve. I really had hoped, and thought, that some thing might happen with me and Marie in the car alone. I guess you could say that something almost did. It was so frustrating. On the way home, I kept on hinting that I wanted to fool around, but sort of said it like I was joking. She did the same thing, but I didn't have the courage to actually stop the car and show her that I wasn't joking. I could tell that she wanted to, too. At one point she dared me to stop the car and find a parking place, because she thinks she has strept throat, or walking pneumonia. When we finally reached her house, I got out with her to get her stuff out from the trunk. She finished taking my socks off her feet, which I had loaned her for the play, and the came up to me, as if to kiss me, but at the last moment turned away and pretended nothing had happened. Talk about mental agony. Finally we relized that we couldn't delay "good-bye" any longer, so she went inside and I went home. I think one of the reasons why I like her so much, is because she likes me. This week Bill told me that he had heard from someone, that Marie was depressed because she already has a boyfriend, but she wanted me. I don't know if that's true, but it makes me feel good, and it makes me want her, too. If I knew I wasn't going to see her at all after the play, I'd be pretty sad right now. But I think I already said that the 8th grade band is coming with us on the exchange trip (which is next weekend), and I know that Marie is coming. If the things I've heard about exchange trips are true, there's still a good chance of doing what I hoped of doing last night.

I really don't know what I'm going to write about, now that the play's over. It's been the major thing on my mind for such a long time now. Still, I have the exchange next weekend to think about, along with Marie. Today I think I'll write the rough draft of my Expo paper. Monday we don't have school; I don't know what I'll do. I'd like to call Marie, but I don't know if I can get the nerve. Maybe I will.

Guess that's it for this week. There still seems to be so many feelings I'm experiencing, from the sadness of the end of the play to the excitement of thinking of Marie. But, not to use a terrible cliche, words can't really express them. So you'll just have to trust me. Before I forget, enclosed is a poem I was inspired to write on April 7th, but have forgot to enclose until now. Also, enclosed is the play schedule, just something to hold a couple of memories for me. Later.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005


Going to Dawson (not the city's real name) was always a pretty big deal when I was growing up. It was (and is) the largest city in my mostly rural state, so it offered a number of shops and malls that sold stuff you just couldn't get closer to my hometown, which was about a 45 minute drive away. (Remember, this was long before Internet shopping.)

I've now lived in the Dawson area since I graduated college in 1989. I work in Dawson, and currently live in a city that borders it.

Saturday, April 28, 1984
Hard to believe that vacation's almost over. I think because I didn't really think about it before it came, and because I didn't savor it as it was happening, it passed faster.

Rehearsals went OK, and I'd have to say that they were the high-points of my vacation. I looked forward to going and spending all day at school with the cast. I'd say that the play still isn't ready for the stage, but the show must go on. Still have some characters who don't show-up at rehearsal, and we have to use a stand-in. Today, Dan, my partner, wasn't here. It makes it hard to get some real rehearsing done when you have to work with a stand-in. We came-up with something extra to add to the show today. There's a part when Bill comes out from behind a curtain and tells me to let go of a girl. He has a hand held flash-gun, and he points that at me and lets it rip. I've always had a hard time looking frightened right at that part; I don't have that problem any more.

It looks as if those long rehearsals which I fear are finally upon us. On Monday we're going to stay after school and go until about 10:00. I'm praying that I won't have that much homework this week. I'm going to have to do it while I'm at rehearsal. It's not that I don't like spending a lot of time around the cast, like I already said, but the homework is really going to take a fall.

I finished all the research for my Expo paper quite early in the week. With the two weekends for the exchange, I only have two weekends to write it in. That kind of makes me nervous.

Aaron and I went to Dawson with my mother on Thursday. We went to Grayson's and the Uptown Mall afterwards. We also went to see Brandy, Aaron's sister, and Alice. I went to Aaron's on Wednesday, and we did some print developing.

On Tuesday I went to the dermotologist. All she did was to increase my tetracycline dose and schedule me for another appointment in two months. If by that time it hasn't gone away, we might try accutane. Alice is on it now and she looks a lot better.

Well, next week is opening night. (I guess you can tell what is mainly on my mind!) Tomorrow I think I've got to go to my grandmother's to help her clean somethingerother, and I think she wants me to rake, too. I look forward to the money, if I'm going to rake, but not to the work. Guess I'll go now. It seems strange to think that the next time I write an entry, we would have already done the play twice, and have only one more to go. Until next week ...

Monday, August 01, 2005

A girl (not) named Marie

I'd wondered when Marie Randall (not her real name) was going to make her first appearance. Turns out it's in this, the 23rd entry to my 1984 diary.

Keep your eye on her. She's important later.

Saturday, April 21, 1984
Vacation has started, but it doesn't really seem so. We didn't have school on Friday. I had Bill over Thursday evening after a 'til 6:00 rehearsal and then we went to rehearsal on Friday for just a read-through. We didn't do much except for watching some T.V. There weren't any real good movies on; we moved the dish up to the Playboy Channel, and watched that for about 45 minutes.

I feel that there's so much I could say about the play, but that would probably take me three volumes. I think I had mentioned that we had changed the time period into the 1800s. Well, today we decided to change it back to modern times. Now at least I don't have to really worry aoout a costume. Things have come together just a little more than last week. The set has been painted, and some of the furniture and props have begun to appear (just a joke) on the set, too. That makes a lot of difference. Now I can start to use the set props, and get a better feeling for the set. That makes me feel a bit better. Still, almost all of the magic tricks haven't begun to be rehearsed. That worries me a lot. Also, a lot of people don't come to many rehearsals. It's hard to get in the swing with other people on the stage, and make your acting look real, if you always have to act to a person who is filling in for the actual person. I think that by next week or so, that special sort of panic is going to hit all the people in the cast. It's going to be that sort of fear that makes things happen. Hopefully it's going to make this play snap into shape.

Went to a dance at the Elks Club last night. It was sort of a school dance but wasn't really sponsered by the school. It wasn't that good, so we left early and went to the Aunt Betty's Everything Pizza.

Just about all of the snow is gone now, and I've been thinking about getting back into flying. Benji said he had heard them flying last weekend. I've just got to get that nose-gear back in shape, and check my radio batteries, etc. and I think I'll be ready to go.

Like I said, this week is going to be pretty busy. We've got rehearsals on Monday, Friday and Saturday. Also, I've got an appointment with the dermotologist on Tuesday, I should do some things for Gram F, look for a job and not to mention school work.

There's a girl I sort of like in the cast, and I feel I should mention her so I won't forget all about her later on in my wonderful life. I've been doing a considerable amount of thinking about her, but for some reason I've tried to abstain from writing about her in this journal. Her name's Marie Randall, and she's in (brace yourself) 8th grade. I don't think anything serious could happen between her and me, but she flirts around a lot. It's not the same sort of "like" as I like Mindy or Krissi, (maybe I should say used to like Krissi), but I still like her.

Guess that's it for mow. Tomorrow's Easter, and we'll probably go to church, that annual event which I hate more and more each year. Probably will write sometime during vacation, or at the latest, next weekend. Later ...