Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Jon's sledding party and the Rolling Stones

Jon Giffin's sledding party is one of the fairly uneventful events in my life that, for some reason, I still remember. Nothing especially special happened there, but for some reason, I have fond memories of it — though I have no very specific memories of it.

Oddly, whenever I hear about any song off the Rolling Stones' "Tattoo You" album, I think of this party. That album came out three years prior, so why is that?

Maybe I'll never know.

Monday, Jan. 2, 1984
Back again. Since it's still vacation, I'm not that busy, so I thought I'd write a bit. From 2:00 'till 5:00 was at Jon Giffin's house for his sliding party. Bill, Aaron, Paul (Chips), Benji, and of course, Jon were there. Three other people never showed. I gave Benji a ride, and also picked Bill up in Montpelier. Bill talked Jon into asking Molly (Bill's object of affection) to the party but for some reason or another she didn't come. I guess it was for the better, because you know how guys can be when they get together! (Or maybe you don't!) Bill offered to ask Jon to ask KJ, but since he doesn't know her too well, he didn't. That was probably for the best, too.

Probably going to call Bill tonight. Probably about one month ago, Bill called me for some info for Chem. homework, something he had done a lot before. For one reason or another we just started to talk. Two hours later, we hung-up. It was the first time I had really talked on the phone. I think the reason we talked was Bill; he seems (or rather is) frank, and is quite easy to talk to. Not many people are like that for me. Ever since then, we've talked about every other night. It's something that I look forward to, a lot. Ever since that night, we've become very good friends. Whenever I'm with him I change; I become more bold and more aggresive. Overall, I think associating with him is good for me, because he's so different from me. I think some of him has begun to rub-off onto me. (Remember those changes I wrote about?)

Guess that's it for today. It's about 6:40 Pm and tomorrow is the first day of school after vacation. I really dread all of the work that's soon to come, but something strange inside me is looking forward to it. Maybe it's the thought of meeting KJ in the halls or something. Or maybe it's the thought of getting up at 6 in the morning and spending all of my free time working on school work (ha, ha.)

Monday, May 30, 2005

In the beginning, there was Krissi

Here's the first entry of the diary I titled "Confessions of a Teen-Age Shlock" back in '84.

I get a kick out of me speaking directly to a post-30-years-old me — I'm 37 now — and also found it interesting that I cite reading my 6th and 7th grade diary as an inspiration for starting my '84 diary. Reading over my '84 diary a year ago or so inspired me to start a new journal in 2003, which I update about weekly.

Sunday, Jan. 1, 1984
Well, where should I start? Let's start at the beginning; several things inspired me to start this journal. I'd have to say that the first of these things was my friend Bill Waters, who has been keeping a journal for some time now. The second was the feeling that I got when I was reading over my old diary, written when I was back in 6th & 7th grade. It seemed that things I couldn't even remember came to life as I read my own accounts of them in that diary. The third reason was that it is the beginning of a new year: a good time to start such a project. Finally, and probably must importantly, I feel that right now I'm changing. It may have been a subtle change, but I think I can feel it just the same. Of course, when I'm about 30 or so, and shamefully rich and famous, I could probably make a million by publishing this little treasure-house of ideas & feelings. (By the way C.F., if you're reading this right now, and are over 30 years old, & not rich and famous, please remember: we all dream a little when we're young!)

Well, I guess that I've explained the reason for this journal well enough. Now for the nitty-gritty, I'm really a female. That's right, all these years, and nobody's found out. Amazing isn't it?

To get back to reality, there's a girl in my life. Not, my life as a girl (ignore paragraph #2, sarcasm is my best friend). Maybe I should say that there's a girl not in my life that I wish was. Her name is Krissy Jansen, or Krissie, or perpaps even Krissi, who knows. For simplicity's sake, we'll just call her KJ. By the way KJ, if you've just picked up this journal in paper-back at your local bookstand, you're probably in for some good reading.

Probably when I look back on my situation later on in my life I'll laugh, or maybe cry. Hell, I might even pick my nose, who knows. But right now, things don't seem so rosey.

I first saw KJ in "Frankenstein," this year's fall play. It wasn't long after that, that I started thinking more and more about her. A couple of weeks ago I experienced the peek of awkwardness when I called her on the phone to ask her to my homeroom party. She said that she wasn't going to be here that day. So much for plan A.

Day before Christmas vacation I sent her some mistletoe, I signed the card "Krissy". Later I find out that her name is probably spelled "Krissi". (Score an other one for Mr. Sauve.)

Right now, I'm kind of at a standstill, and don't really know what to do. I will keep ya' updated as time goes on.

Well, I guess 1 1/2 pages is enough for one day. I probably won't be giving a daily entry, as during schooldays, the last thing I want to do at the end of the day is sit down at the typewriter and type! I hope to, however, keep this log updated at least every week, and possibly more often if something exciting happens. (Had better plan on every week!)

Welcome (back) to the '80s

I'm in the process of readying the original typewritten pages of my 141-page diary from 1984 for posting here.

This will be substantially different from any other blog I've come across. While many blogs are, essentially, online diaries of one type or another, Real '80s Diary will be the actual word-for-word publishing of a personal journal I never intended to show anyone — much less, potentially, thousands and thousands of strangers.

With the anonymity the Web offers and the popularity and simplicity of blogging, I felt it'd be an interesting project. (No, Cameron isn't my real name, but you earn bonus points for determining the '80s icon my pseudonym references.)

How I've changed in the years between age 16 and 37 are, surely, immense. The cultural changes that have occurred are equally substantial. (How could I have imagined 20 years ago posting something like this diary on something like the Web?)

But, ultimately, I'm undertaking this project for personal reasons: Having spent the better part of my mid-30s questioning the value of my life and the way I'm living it, I thought I might learn more about myself and where I might be headed by looking back at where I've been.

Whether or not you lived through the '80s, I hope Real '80s Diary will provide you with a little insight into the era and myself — even though, considering the personal nature of this project, you are destined to know me only through my pseudonym.

I'd be interested in hearing your thoughts: cameron_frye@hotmail.com.